Still Standing Strong

A year ago today many lives were changed forever.

It should never have happened.  It was senseless to have happened.  In a city within a state where America was founded, people should be able to watch a marathon without suffering harm or being killed.

With a tradition as great as the Boston Marathon, it’s important to carry on, stay strong and always remember those directly affected.

While it doesn’t change anything that happened, we should try to find peace with the fact that one is dead and the other will get his as well.

The best thought:  only an asshole could be found in a boat on dry land in Watertown.

Stay strong, Boston.



Excerpt from “Love Letters To A Rock Star”

The following is a brief excerpt from the most current novel I’m writing called “Love Letters To A Rock Star”.  It’s kind of a prequel to my memoir “How I Pissed Off A Rock Star”.  I’ve gotten a lot of positive buzz on this from critique groups so I thought I’d bring it here to share a little.  Here’s a taste:

I had so many questions to ask Yvonne and it was all her fault.  After all, she was the one who began telling me her tale.  She opened the door and I walked right in.

“Okay, I just finished reading your e-mail and I’ll try to answer all your questions.  You with the naughty mind!  No, I’m not embarrassed to tell you details about the time I spent with Brent.  It’s really not as glamorous as you may think.”

I held my breath as I began reading her responses to my questions.

“I had to laugh when you asked how big his cock was.  I know, you’d think  ‘big, macho rock star, big dick’, right?  Think again.  Brent was nothing extraordinary.  I’ve seen bigger dicks on dogs!”

I nearly fell off my chair in laughter and moved on to her next reply.

“Was Brent a good lover?  Hm…define good.  He was okay.  Sorry to disappoint you but I’ve had better.  Again, nothing extraordinary.  He didn’t even make me come!  I faked it with him! Haha!”

Oh my God.  Yvonne was too much!

“Okay, his favorite position?  All I’ll tell you is that it rhymes with ‘froggy’.  Did we try it?  Yes!  Was he good at it?  Meh.  Ordinary.”

I glanced at my watch and realized it was time for me to leave.  For the moment I closed out my inbox and shut the laptop off.  The rest of Yvonne’s sexcapade with Brent Crude would have to wait.

Is it a ping, a pang or a pong?

You gotta give kudos to the searchers of MH370 for trying.

And I can understand their disappointment when their excitement of discovering a “ping” faded to, well, not much.

I don’t understand the entire searching thing or what it is these people do.  And maybe I’m thinking about this unrealistically.  Yes, I know the ocean is deep.  But I would think if they heard a “ping”, they would start the attempt of locating  the origin of the “ping” before the “ping” disappears.

Another question that comes to mind is that if they ever find the plane, what do they hope to really find?  My guess:  not much.

Why I Came Back

Lately I’ve been asking myself why I came back.  I left it ten years ago and for the most part, wiped my hands of everything.

I destroyed a lot of things.  I gave some things away.  Some were costly things.  Many were one-of-a-kind things.  I still have some of the more memorable stuff.

I guess you could say I never completely left.  In reality I didn’t.  I was always in the background watching and listening from a distance.  I continued to be a part of the world I had been barred from.  I got to see special things, things I knew others would never see.  I got to hear things I knew others would never hear.  I also got to read things I didn’t want to read.

Why did I never completely leave?  After some thought I came to a few realizations:

  1.  I didn’t want to end up bitter like some of the others I knew.  These people are still carrying angst the size of Mount Rushmore around twenty years later.
  2. I know forgiveness is the first key to healing.  Although I have forgiven, I will never forget.  Bruises will vanish; words stay with you forever.  And it still makes me cautious.  I know I will never completely trust again.  I can’t.
  3. I know how short life can be.
  4. I knew I needed to make amends, if only for my own sake.  I was just never sure how to do it, didn’t know if I should do it and figured I would be shut out and ignored if I did.
  5. I felt guilty and sorry at the same time.
  6. And I know I never fully left because of one big thing:  LOVE.  The love we feel for someone can be a powerful thing.  I think that emotion is what kept me hanging on all these years.

So here I am.  Back from nowhere and definitely going somewhere.  Whoever wants to can come along for the ride.  There’s always room for more.


A mother and child reunion

Although I’m not too familiar with the story, I did read a few weeks ago about Katheryn Deprill’s search for her birth mother.  Katheryn was dubbed the “Burger King baby” because when she was just hours old, she was abandoned in the bathroom of a Burger King.  She was subsequently adopted by a loving family who raised her to be the grown married mother of three that she is today.

Thanks to social media Katheryn has now found her birth mother and from what I understand, it was a joyful reunion.

Deprill took a chance in seeking out her birth mother.  There was a chance she may have passed away or she may not have wanted anything to do with her child.  But the woman came forward and the two met at an attorney’s office in Pennsylvania.

Considering that her biological mother had the courage to come forward tells me that, no matter what happened for her to do what she did when her child was born, this woman is worth knowing.

I’m hoping Deprill and her birth mother can carry on their relationship as birth mother and child and that Deprill can easily let her be a part of her life.

We all make mistakes in life; it’s when we are forgiven for our mistakes that we know true love.

At this point, does it matter? Maybe to some it does

I’ve been trying to put myself into the shoes of the people who lost someone on Flight 370.  I’ve asked myself how I would feel if someone close to me had been on that flight.

I think at first I would feel denial.  That it just could not be true.  Then once all the news began breaking, I’d feel hopeful that maybe they’d find something.  But I wouldn’t hold out hope for long.  Because in cases like this, the result is not usually a good one.  So then I would start thinking realistically.  I wouldn’t be holed up in an airport in Beijing or in a hotel somewhere in Malaysia waiting to hearing anything.  As much as I would love to believe my loved one will return, I know they will not.  I think the majority of us knew the true outcome of this event on March 8–the same day it happened.

Weeks have passed and they cannot find this big ass Boeing 777.  Is there really a chance they are going to find any survivors?  Are we dealing with a real-life “Castaway” scenario here?  No, I don’t think so.

I feel deeply sorry for everyone who lost someone on Flight 370.  I can understand them wanting to believe people are still alive.  I can reason with their imagining that their loved ones have been kidnapped and are being held against their will on a deserted island somewhere.  But I wonder how long the wait should be for the call from the kidnappers demanding millions of dollars and a plane ticket to Bora Bora?  That call, and no other calls, are coming.

We know this much:  there was a Boeing 777 carrying over 200 people flying from Malaysia to China and now the plane and the people are gone.  Is it really important to know which way the plane flew?  Is it really important to know if the pilots flew the plane to its end on purpose?  Or that someone may have stormed the cockpit and took over the flight?  If it was terrorism, don’t you think, is as usually the case, some terrorist group would have come forward claiming responsibility for it?  Because they are so proud of their evil actions.

If the plane or parts of it are ever found, is it really going to matter?  I’m sure it may matter to some who lost a loved one on the plane.  But no amount of debris, plane or otherwise, are going to bring those people back.

Relatives of the plane passengers are asking where the proof is that MH370 fell into the ocean.  Where is the proof that it DIDN’T?  What amazes me is how hardly anyone has thrown out the theory of a possible spontaneous combustion which would literally obliterate the plane and all its contents.  Nothing would be found.

So time passes for these people.  They need to cope with their losses and move on with their lives.  They need to heal however they may.

There is a very strong possibility that nothing from flight MH370 will ever be found.     I know for most of us it doesn’t matter.  But for others, it matters a lot.


Another wacko gone–GOOD RIDDANCE!

The world is a little less wacky right now because Westboro church founder Fred Phelps is dead.

If you know anything about the Westboro Baptist Church and its members, you know that these are the extremist nuts who blame every calamity in the country on homosexuals.  Their crazy belief is that these disasters, from Hurricane Katrina to Sandy Hook and everything in between, are the result of God being angry for the country’s acceptance of gays.  Really?  Who makes this shit up?  And these people buy it?

It’s no wonder one of Phelps’ own sons was estranged from him and became an atheist.  If I were related to someone like that, I probably would become an atheist also!

Everything DOES happen for a reason!

I just read on Twitter that Ava has passed in her resignation and has accepted a job with the Peabody Housing Authority.

Youseff, stick your 7-11 job and your coffee WAY UP YOUR ASS!!!!

WAY TO GO, GIRL!  I knew it was only a matter of time.  And it didn’t take that long.

Go forward, Ava, and do right in this world.  Make it a better place.

Who says everything doesn’t happen for a reason?