Posted in Things that piss me off, writing

Asking For What I Want

There was a time in my life when I was afraid to ask for what I wanted.  If I wanted to take a day off, whether I needed it or just wanted it, I would need to work up my courage to ask for it.  Why was I afraid?  My supervisor was a tyrant and I was always afraid I wouldn’t get it.  Over time, I saw that although she was strict, my supervisor was actually very fair and any day I ever asked to have off I would get.

I know I won’t always get what I ask for.  I’ve accepted that part of life.  I’m good with it.  What I’m not good with is when I ask for something, whether it is a favor, a question, a suggestion, an offer to work with someone, an offer of my assistance, and I never get a response.  There have been occasions when I have asked for certain things via more than one method (i.e., I’ve asked via e-mail and phone calls; I’ve asked in person and phone calls), and I still never got a reply.  Even a “no” would be better than nothing.  I haven’t even been able to get that on many occasions.  I’ve noticed in anything I’ve ever read about asking for what you want, it was never mentioned what to do in the case where you never receive an answer.  I simply say “fuck ‘em” because really, what else can you say?

These people can’t tell me they never got my message, especially the ones I’ve spoken to in person (during a business lunch even!).  Some would say that maybe they just forgot.  But to continuously forget? That’s just plain old rude ignorance.  If you don’t want to work with me, do me a favor, answer my question, consider my suggestion or if you don’t want my assistance, just say so.  Don’t ignore me because that just frustrates the shit out of me and makes me feel more like a failure than if you had just told me “no”.

Maybe these culprits’ real problem is the own fear they carry.  They’re afraid to tell me “no”, so they don’t bother saying anything.  Then again I shouldn’t make excuses for their rudeness because that’s what it really comes down to.

I figure maybe someday the tables will be turned and these individuals will want something from me.  They will ask and ask and ask and in my grand moment, I won’t say anything.  See how they like it.



I'm a writer. I'm also a wife and a parent who works too much and lives too little. In addition to writing I also love to read, listen to music, travel, cook, I enjoy looking for bargains at flea markets or thrift stores, Christmas, football and of course writing! How did I come up with the title of my blog? Two things: 1. I live in New England (duh) and 2. Canadian singer Alan Frew once arrogantly told me to "get a New England life"--again--DUH! I already HAVE one!

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