I say some pretty stupid stuff when I’m angry. I also do some pretty stupid stuff when I’m angry. Then again, depending on the situation most would agree I have a right to be angry. Because some pretty stupid stuff has been said to me and some pretty stupid stuff has been done to me also. I’m not sure anyone wouldn’t be angry if that happened.
I cope with a lot of my anger through writing. And I’ll admit I don’t always keep it personal. Because depending on what it is that has angered me and who caused the anger, I may feel it is necessary to make my feelings public. Sometimes I may be so angry that I just don’t give a fuck who knows it.
For instance, if someone sends me an email filled with name-calling, speculation about my actions and threats towards me, for NO REASON AT ALL, and then refuses to tell me WHY they sent that to me, well, shit, yeah OF COURSE I’m going to be angry. I’m going to be really, really PISSED OFF! And the more pissed off I get, the more I don’t GIVE A FUCK who else knows it, even if it’s the person or people that pissed me off. See how it works?
So if you happen to read something I wrote about you and don’t like it, well, I’m sorry. I really am. Sometimes the truth hurts, doesn’t it? But remember: if either you or someone you associate with hadn’t generated my anger in the first place, I wouldn’t be writing this right now.
Sometimes people never think about who they are hurting with what they say. They don’t stop and think about the possible consequences. Maybe someone else would’ve gotten that email and never associated with the sender ever again. Maybe that’s what I should’ve done. Maybe that’s what the sender thought I would do. Maybe that’s what they wanted. But that’s not how I act when I’m angry about something. Especially when I don’t even know what I did wrong in the first place.
Is it enough to say “sorry” for my actions? Yeah, it is. And at least I have the decency and courage to do that. Unlike others.