Until this weekend I never heard of Nicole Arbour. However, apparently 18 million people know who she is and decided to watch her rude open letter on YouTube called “Dear Fat People”.
I haven’t seen the video, nor do I care to see it. I’ve heard enough about it to judge it. And judging from Arbour’s picture, she looks like a true dumb ass who wouldn’t know comedy if it crept up and smacked her in the head.
I don’t know how much Arbour weighs but judging from pictures I’ve seen, she doesn’t look too thin herself. Considering her attitude, she’s probably also an alcoholic and drug addict.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is the same one that Whitney Way Thore made in response to this bullshit: you can’t judge a book by its cover. Many people look at me and all they see is a fat person. But what they don’t know is that, although I’ve been fat most of my life, fifteen years ago I lost 60 pounds and kept it off. You know why I had to lose 60 pounds? Because like Thore I also have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and was going through infertility. I was told to lose weight in order to try IVF. Long story short, I became pregnant on my own, without any infertility treatment, had a daughter who is now ten years old and still have PCOS. And I’m still overweight. When you have PCOS weight loss is even more difficult than if you didn’t have PCOS. And it’s no fault of my daughter’s. That is just what happens when you have a baby and then your feet decide to go completely numb on you. That’s another story for another time.
Thore also said in rebuttal to Arbour’s comment about going to the doctor and being told you have “f—ing heart disease”: “Heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, these are illnesses that affect millions of people worldwide from skinny to fat and everything in between.”
Even a stroke. Especially when you don’t take your medications.
Twenty-two years ago I experienced fat-shaming at its worst. From my own boyfriend. He was an alcoholic and would make comments to me all the time about my weight. He bought a motorcycle and told me not to sit on it because I’d probably break it. He used to comment to me about food I ate, even if it was healthy food, which most of the time it was. So I started throwing it back at him with “You need food to survive. You don’t need booze to survive.” Of course in an alcoholic’s mind, you DO need booze to survive. I remember one time going on a trip with this guy I called my boyfriend and he didn’t eat any food all day. All he did was drink. And he spent the entire night puking. How romantic. Yeah, you know where this guy is now? Dead. He died in 2009 at the age of 45. From a stroke. All 175 pounds of him.
So anyone out there who is quick to body shame because in your eyes someone is too fat, too thin, not the right height, etc., take a look in the mirror. You aren’t perfect either.