This woman was allowed by the Massachusetts DMV to wear a colander on her head for her driver’s license picture. She argued with them that it is her religious right to do so, as she is a member of the Church of the Spaghetti Monster (no, folks, I’m not making this up—wish I was!). I have known children who have worn a colander on their heads for non-religious reasons. I have known children who worship Cookie Monster simply because, well, he loves cookies. Then again, I can identify with Cookie Monster because (1) he’s friends with Big Bird (2) he is on “Sesame Street” (3) “Sesame Street” has been on for 46 years. To me, this makes Cookie Monster way more credible than this kook with her colander hat who worships something that sounds like it came out of a comic book.
Three things really scare me about this scenario: (1) the fact that someone at the DMV and the state of Massachusetts allowed this to happen when they won’t even allow you to wear your glasses for a picture; (2) the fact that the state of Massachusetts actually gave her a license, considering how ridiculous she looks with a colander on her head and the wacky and wild look on her face. Is she high on something? And (3) the fact that this fruitcake is going to be on the road with the rest of us.
Here is what I’ve decided to do the next time I’m going to get my license renewed and need a new picture. I’m going to wear my New England Patriots cap. When they ask me to remove it, I’m going to refuse. Then I will tell them I can’t because it’s against my religious belief, as I belong to “The Church of Tom Fucking Brady, Greatest Quarterback That Ever Lived For The Greatest Fucking Football Team Ever And If You Live In Massachusetts And Have Never Heard Of The Church Of Tom Fucking Brady Then You Should Pack Your Bags And Move To Jersey And Become A Jets Fan”!
That should shut ‘em up…