FUN FACT: “The Office” only had two seasons without a Christmas episode: Season 1 which only had six episodes and Season 4 because of a writer’s strike.

It’s Christmas time at Dunder Mifflin and with Michael Scott in charge of the festivities (because he got a big secret bonus for firing Devin), who knows what’s going to happen?

A tree too big for the office so Kevin lops the top of it off.

Kevin asks “Why did you get it so big?”

To which Michael replies “A. That’s what she said. Uh, B. I wanted it to be impressive. Biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.” Of course.

Jim reveals that for the first time ever he has gotten Pam as Secret Santa and has purchased her a teapot, so she can make tea at her desk. But being a sentimental fool, he is also going to stuff it with some inside jokes: his high school yearbook photo that Pam saw at a party and it made her laugh, a hot sauce packet she had put on a hot dog because she thought it was ketchup and Jim thought it was funny so he kept the other two, an object that looks like a pencil that he says would take too long to explain, so he won’t, and a card. Because Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel.

The Party Planning Committee consists of Angela, Phyllis, Pam and Ryan, who was chosen in case there is a disaster. As they are going over all the plans for the Christmas party, in walks Michael wearing a Santa hat and beard. He lays out a large sum of money and rattles off that he wants this party to be wild: lampshades on the head, making out in the closet and Pam reminds him no liquor is allowed.

Darryl wants to be Santa. To which Michael disagrees. Dwight wants to be an elf. To which Michael agrees because he says he has elfish features.

We learn who the other Secret Santas are: Toby got Angela and got her a poster of babies dressed as adults, because that’s what she’s into. Oscar got Creed and knows nothing about Creed other than his name is Creed, he works over there, he thinks he’s Irish and he got him a shamrock keychain. Kevin got himself for Secret Santa and bought himself a foot bath. Michael brags to Jim that he spent a lot of dough on his gift. Jim reminds him it was a twenty dollar limit. Then he blabs that his Secret Santa is Ryan.

Then the present festivities begin. Oscar is first to open a gift. A shower radio from Kelly. Jim opens an old shirt from Creed, which Creed has probably just ripped off his back and stuffed in a plastic bag. Next is Pam who loves the teapot. Jim tells her there’s a little more to it but before she can open it, Dwight tosses Ryan his gift. Which is an iPod. From Michael. Ryan questions the twenty dollar limit and notes that the price tag left on the iPod says $400. Next Michael discovers that he was Phyllis’s Secret Santa. And she took the time to knit him an oven mitt. This is where the Secret Santa part suddenly takes a turn.

Michael is obviously pissed about getting an oven mitt so he decides on a whim to turn the Secret Santa into a Yankee Swap. Jim is unclear what a Yankee Swap is and when he learns what it’s all about, you can see he knows where this is going. Nobody is happy about it.

Meredith starts the swap and although Michael tries to pawn off his oven mitt, she chooses the teapot. Much to Jim’s displeasure. Pam takes the iPod, although Michael offers her the oven mitt. Ryan is then told that he can take either the oven mitt, the old shirt, shower radio or pick another gift. Which is what he does to reveal a sign that reads “Kelly.” Which Stanley bought for Kelly. Kelly opens Angela’s poster and declares “Yikes!” On Angela’s turn, Michael still tries to get rid of the oven mitt and she decides she wants the poster. Kelly takes the iPod. Michael realizes everyone wants the iPod. Next Oscar takes the teapot. Which pisses off Meredith. So now it’s her turn and she wants the iPod. But Dwight stops her, saying it’s already been stolen this round. Michael is still trying to pawn off the oven mitt by saying “Someone really put a lot of work into that. It’s beautiful.” Meredith falls for it and takes the oven mitt and Michael yells “Sucker!” But the real sucker ends up being Michael who opens paint ball pellets and two paint ball lessons from Dwight. Dwight is beside himself with pleasure that Michael has chosen his gift. Michael turns to Dwight and asks “Who wants to take paintball lessons? How is that better than an iPod?”

The last gift is for Kevin. Which is his foot bath. That he bought for himself. Kevin says, “I’m really psyched to use it. Maybe I should have taken the iPod.”

Pam’s turn. She goes for the iPod, much to Jim’s surprise and makes him ask, “Sure you don’t want the teapot?” Kelly takes a book of short stories and Dwight ends up with the teapot, to which Jim mumbles under his breath, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Dwight declares, “Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets…Christmas.”

Phyllis leaves and is clearly pissed. Michael reveals to everyone that he got a big bonus because he fired Devin and that pisses everyone else off, especially when he stupidly reveals how much the bonus was.

The next scene we see Michael at the liquor store buying 15 bottles of vodka. Kevin is using his foot bath. Jim explains to Dwight that he bought the teapot for Pam and that she really wants it. So he tries to trade him for it to which Dwight declines. Of course it’s a shamrock keychain he’s trying to trade, so… Jim is further turned off when Dwight indicates he’s going to use it for his sinus infections.

Pam shows Roy, her boyfriend, the iPod and he admits that he was going to get her one for Christmas and now he doesn’t have to. She asks him what he’s going to get her and he says he doesn’t know, maybe a sweater.

Phyllis returns with Bob Vance, her boyfriend who owns Vance Refrigeration. As Roy and Darryl are talking football in the kitchen area, Pam notices Dwight with the teapot through the window. You can see the pain on her face of giving up the teapot for the iPod.

Jim approaches Pam who is sitting at her desk and he says, “You know you don’t have to answer calls during a party” to which Pam replies, “No, I was just checking out my present.” And reveals the teapot. She explains she traded with Dwight and she knows Jim went through a lot of trouble and that means a lot. Jim then explains to her that the teapot comes with bonus gifts and tells her to look inside. As Pam is going through the items inside, Jim discreetly takes back the card and puts it in his pocket.

Asshole Packer shows up, Michael finally lets Darryl wear the Santa hat, Packer passes out, Kelly kisses Dwight, which pisses off Angela who ends up outside breaking ornaments.

In the end, everyone leaves to go to Poor Richard’s and before Michael can leave, Meredith flashes him. But she’s so drunk she probably doesn’t realize it.