Posted in writing

The Royal Questions

There’s nothing like a good ol’ royal wedding to get everyone riled up.

Although I wish Harry and Meg the best of luck in this next chapter in their lives, I don’t really care about the details.  However, they do make an adorable couple and I’m sure Diana would be proud of her youngest child.

In honor of the royal wedding tomorrow, a local radio station posted questions to answer regarding the big day.  Since these are extremely pertinent, I just had to answer them:

  1.  Will Prince Harry shave for his walk down the aisle?

Yes.  He will shave everything.  Head, beard and body.  He is going into this marriage completely hairless.

     2.  What color hat will the Queen wear?

She is going for the Cat-in-the-Hat motif—something multi-colored and stripey.

     3.  Who will walk Meghan down the aisle?

Well, as of yesterday when these questions were first posted, I gave my answer as Meghan.  But today we all know it’s going to be Chuck.

     4.  What will they serve for dinner?

Tea and crumpets.  What the fuck else would they serve?

     5.  Will Elton sing “Candle in the Wind” at the reception?

No, but I hear that “The Bitch Is Back” is on the playlist.

 

Here’s to many, many years of pure wedded bliss, Harry and Meg!

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Posted in writing

A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 21 — Knowing the Narcissist

Makes me feel like writing a letter of my own.  Maybe I will...

Dear Narc, You tried to steal my shine. You tried to turn off my smile. You almost succeeded in raping my soul but I found myself stronger and today I thank you. Thank you because you revealed to me who I am and how much I am worth. Thank you because you made me understand…

via A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 21 — Knowing the Narcissist

Posted in Things that make you say "hmm..."

Known Just to California?

Today I bought a squeegee window cleaner at an auto store.  On the back of the packaging I just happened to see this notice:

I live in Massachusetts, which is where this squeegee was purchased.

Per this statement it contains chemicals, known to the state of California, to be harmful to humans.  My question is:  are the chemicals this product contains known to the other 49 states to be harmful to humans as well?  Because if California has found the chemicals to be dangerous, shouldn’t the other states also find them to be dangerous?

Another question:  if this product is so dangerous because of what it’s made with, why is it being sold?  I guess that answer lies at the bottom of a cigarette butt.

By the way, I did wash my hands after using it.

Posted in Things that make you say "hmm...", writing

Sometimes all it takes is a little understanding

Considering the kind of day I had with my Aspie daughter, I wanted to share this post from five years ago.  It’s an early #ThrowbackThursday post but will always remain relevant.

 

I just finished perusing CNN.com and read an article that struck a cord with me. It was about the waitress at Chili’s, the autistic girl and the “broken” cheeseburger.

For those who didn’t read the article, you can see it here:

http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2013/03/26/the-waitress-the-autistic-girl-and-the-broken-hamburger/?hpt=hp_bn11

The reason why it struck a cord with me is that I know what it’s like to go out to eat (or go anywhere for that matter) with an autistic person. I’ve known what it’s like for the past 28 years. My sister Peggy is autistic. When I read about how this little autistic girl got upset over her burger being cut in two (to her it was “broken”–so cute!), I shook my head knowingly. Although I doubt Peggy would have an issue with her burger being “broken”, she probably would pick the burger apart, eating only the burger, or maybe the cheese too, leaving any pickle behind, along with the bun. And there can’t be any condiments on the burger. A meal at Subway is a cold cut sandwich without the bread. And two bags of chips and a soda. Of course we can’t just ask them for a bunch of meat and cheese. So she picks apart the sub and someone else eats the bread. Big deal. But this is what it’s like dining with an autistic person in tow. You deal with it.

As for the ignorant ones commenting after the article, I have a few choice statements for them. First of all, although autism is usually associated with young children, those children do grow up to become autistic adults. Like my sister Peggy. Autism has been around for longer than we know. The only difference is that autism didn’t have the attention it does now, children were labeled as “retarded” and tossed into institutions. Thank goodness we have learned so much and realize those affected with autism, in any form, can lead productive lives.

For many with autism it’s the simple things in life that make them happy. For my sister it’s clocks. She collects clocks. Mainly these fancy neon blue clocks that Walmart sells for $20.00. If we ever need a clock we know where to go. But none of her clocks actually run. She requires no batteries for her clocks. All the clocks need to say is 3:55 or 11:15 (we have to set one hand on the 11; the other has to be on the 3) and she is happy. We know it’s always 3:55 or 11:15 somewhere!

Some other simple things that make Peggy’s life complete: the numbers 4, 3 and 8. She used to really be into the number 11 also but has gotten away from that one for some reason. Basketballs and soccer balls, sometimes other kinds of balls. Mainly basketballs. And sunglasses. She really used to love calculators but has gotten away from them as well.

My sister will never drive a car or hold down a job. She will never marry or have children. But she’s the happiest person I know.

We could all learn a lot from autistic people. They don’t need cell phones, Ipads, tablets or any other fancy technical thingy to make them happy. They don’t need expensive gas guzzling cars and exotic trips to lands unknown to fulfill their lives. Simple really is better. If we all chose to live more simpler, less chaotic lives, the world would be a better place. All you really need in life to be happy is a good clock and a yummy cheeseburger.

Posted in writing

Today I Saw The Future

Today was Saturday.

After sitting in stuffy classrooms all week, children long for Saturday.  Just like their adult counterparts, they use the weekend to unwind, to have fun, to maybe do things they didn’t have time to do during the week because of their school obligations.

But because of the NRA and the members of Congress who support the NRA (and are ass-fucked by the NRA), children who would normally be spending time at the mall, going to the movies, maybe a birthday party, or just chilling with Mom and Dad or doing whatever, spent their Saturday marching the city streets of America, even the city streets of other countries, in a march for their lives.  Saturdays shouldn’t be spent like this for anyone, least of all children.  Yet in 2018, here we are.

The kids who spoke and marched today are the future leaders of our country and the world.  They have shown more than once that they are strong, they are resilient and they won’t take shit from anyone.  My thirteen year old daughter is one of them.  The NRA and members of Congress, especially the GOP, should fear the future.  I, for one, look forward to it.

#MarchForOurLives