It’s winter break from school but why are all the teachers congregating in the teacher’s lounge?

Janine ran out of toilet paper, Barbara came to get the milk before it expired, Ava’s taking the tree because “did you think I was actually going to buy another tree?” and Melissa seems to just be rummaging through the fridge.

Janine being Janine takes the opportunity to invite everyone to her place on Christmas Eve for cookies and toilet paper. But everyone says they have other plans.

Then Jacob walks in and pretends he’s there for coffee stirrers. But he actually forgot there wasn’t any school. Although he lives with Melissa and she didn’t stop him from leaving the house.

Janine is left to her own plans which consist of her and Gregory’s first Christmas Eve together. Barb and Melissa have “dinner plans”—at Melissa’s house. And Ava is doing whatever Ava does.

So Melissa is making dinner for her family because she feels she needs to prove to them that she can do a real Italian dinner although she isn’t married. And Jacob and his brother are helping with the prep. And her sister and husband show up early. Much to Melissa’s displeasure.

Back at Janine’s, she and Gregory are attempting to bake cookies. As an aside, Janine admits she only made cookies in case anyone shows up. And she’s glad it’s just her and Gregory. She insists that she and Gregory open their gifts. She hands Gregory a gift bag and he asks “Is it an Orioles jersey?” and Janine laughs and says “Even better.”. Gregory looks in the bag, gives his famous look to the camera and says, “I’m not wearing this”. It turns out to be matching green and white pajamas. Can’t blame Gregory for not wanting to wear them.

Back at Melissa’s, the rest of her family has arrived and she’s managing dealing with their comments while getting dinner ready. Especially troublesome is Uncle Archie, which we discover is a bigot when Barb and Gerald arrive and he declares, “Uh, nobody told us this is one of those progressive dinners.” And Melissa asks him if he wants to get strangled. Archie then states he wants to take a nap and Melissa suggests he go upstairs. As he heads upstairs, Melissa apologizes to Barb and Gerald and Barb says, “That’s okay, we have grace for those who are about to meet their maker. Or the other guy.”

Janine is complaining that now they have to watch basketball since she’s making Gregory wear the pajamas. Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door and Janine gets excited, thinking it’s a guest. But it’s just Mr. Johnson dressed as Santa with tidings of joy for Janine and Gregory: socks for her big ass feet and a book for Gregory called “How to Have a Personality”. Then Mr. Johnson announces he’s on his way to the North Pole and leaves.

Then Ava shows up, invites herself in, makes fun of Janine’s tree and decorations and just makes herself at home.

At Melissa’s, Jacob is talking one of Melissa’s relative’s ears off about some board game so the guy tells Jacob to go get it and show it to him. Which excites Jacob and he runs upstairs to retrieve it under the bed where Uncle Archie is sleeping. Melissa’s mom questions her about her boyfriend firefighter and why he isn’t at the party. Melissa explains he isn’t Christmas level yet.

As Jacob searches under the bed for his game, he realizes that Uncle Archie may not just be sleeping.  He yells into Archie’s First Alert about an unresponsive old person. His brother Caleb comes in and between the two of them, they determine that Archie has died. Because Caleb touches his forehead and says, “Bro, he’s super dead.”

They go downstairs to break the news to Melissa, who is extremely busy in the kitchen continuing to make the perfect Italian Christmas Eve dinner. Melissa encourages Jacob not to call 911 until after dinner because as she says, “He’s not going to be any deader after dinner.” She goes on to tell Jacob how she’s been working on the dinner for two weeks and she’s not going to ruin the moment by telling her family Uncle Archie is dead. Barb comes into the kitchen and agrees not to tell anyone. Melissa keeps feeding pesto to Caleb. Jacob has a problem that there is a dead guy in his bed and Barb tells him that it’s not all about him.

Back at Janine’s, Janine asks Ava if she has any family she should be with on Christmas Eve and Ava tells her she doesn’t. Gregory gives a look to the camera because only recently he had his hair cut by her father. And he’s wondering why he isn’t in Ava’s picture. Janine suggests they watch a Christmas movie but Ava insists on a horror flick because she’s had enough Christmas cheer.

At Melissa’s, Jacob is trying to prevent other family members from going upstairs to get their coats which are on the bed where Uncle Archie is.

Janine isn’t having a great time with Ava around and when Ava steps away to use the bathroom, she asks Gregory to ask her to leave. He does confront her about her father, to which Ava becomes defensive, telling Gregory she doesn’t speak to her father.

Back at Melissa’s everyone is raving over the dinner, and Melissa gets emotional when her mother compares it to Nona’s. Jacob wants to call 911 but Melissa insists they must have the cannoli first. One of Melissa’s relatives comes in and sees the cannoli stating, “I know what that is. Schemmenti cannoli. To die for.” To which Jacob can’t help laughing.

Just as the cannoli is getting ready to be served, the doorbell rings and it’s Mr. Johnson with a gift for Melissa: red hair dye. And he reminds Melissa that Jacob needs to pick him up on Sunday to take him sledding. Then he tells her he can’t stay because he’s got to get to the North Pole because Vixen and Dancer are waiting for him. No sooner does he leave but Melissa’s firefighter boyfriend Captain Robinson shows up because they got the 911 alert when Jacob yelled into the First Alert bracelet. Melissa comes clean and tells everyone Archie’s upstairs and he’s dead. Just as Captain Robinson asks where the body is and Jacob points upstairs, here comes Uncle Archie marching down the stairs to everyone’s surprise.

Uncle Archie: What? I never sleep through a cannoli.

At Janine’s, Ava stops Janine and Gregory from arguing by telling Janine about her father and how she asked Gregory not to tell her because she knew she would try her Janine Saves the World thing to fix the relationship. Ava asks if she can stay just a little bit longer and Janine says of course she can, because there’s nothing wrong with being with your work family on Christmas.

Everyone leaves Melissa’s giving her accolades all the way out the door. But Seamus is upstairs in Jacob’s bed and Caleb thinks he is dead. Until we hear Seamus vomit.

Ava presents Janine with a gift of mugs that say “head” and “ass” and Janine gives Ava a pair of pajamas just like the ones she and Gregory are wearing. And you can see Ava is thrilled. The next thing we know, Ava’s leaving because her party bus has arrived. Apparently she was just killing time at Janine’s.

The final scene shows Mr. Johnson at the North Pole: a strip club he enters with a sack full of what appears to be money.