Posted in writing

Decisions, decisions…we all make them

What we can all learn from disgraced Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh (or as I like to refer to him: “Cuckanuts”), is that, no matter what you plan to do, don’t be an asshole at any time in your life.  It will come back to bite you in the ass. Plus, nobody likes an asshole.

Think about what repercussions your current decisions may have somewhere down the line.  You decide to drink and drive.  You “jokingly” pull your dick out at a college party and stick it in the hands of a random female.  You choose to have unprotected sex.  You get drunk and rape a fellow classmate.  You choose to ride the roller coaster after you ate pizza.  You adopt a dog or cat although you are severely allergic to them.  You wash your reds with your whites.  You get the shits from eating too many prunes because, hey, you love prunes.  You get the picture.

Of course, some repercussions aren’t as severe as others.  I mean, if you become President of the United States nobody’s going to give a fuck if you puked after riding the roller coaster when you were ten.  But it really means something if you admit on tape that you enjoy grabbing women by the pussy and then become the “President”.

People won’t give a fuck if you become a Supreme Court judge but fucked up washing your clothes while in college and ended up having to wear red underwear to your keg party. But they will be concerned if there are many sexual misconduct allegations brought against you from when you were at that keg party and then you become a Supreme Court judge.

The world won’t give a fuck if you shit your pants during a college football game because you ate too many prunes; because, hey, prunes are good for you.  But two women bring lawsuits against you for rape and you are now a pro athlete and part of the best team in football.  That’s heavy stuff.  Once again, you’ll be wishing all you had to worry about were having the shits.

The world won’t end if you’re a young, starving musician and adopt a dog or cat, even if you’re severely allergic to them.  Then you break out in hives daily.  But have unprotected sex as a rock icon and you could end up with a lifelong issue, be it medical or human.

The world may make it go viral if you are an up and coming star at the office who does bad karaoke at a Christmas party.  But if you are an important CEO who decides to drink at that Christmas party and then drive home, you are putting your life and the lives of many at risk.  Even if you’re just an up and coming star at the office who drinks and drives you’re putting lives at risk.  Just. Don’t. Do. It.

Cuckanuts may be sitting on the Supreme Court for now and that may seem prestigious in his eyes, but really, would you want to be him, knowing what you’ve done to many women, how you acted during your hearing, embarrassing yourself and your entire family and still embarrassing them and yourself every day?  Simply put:  in life, don’t be a Cuckanuts. Just. Don’t. Do. It.

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Posted in Politics

Not In This House

Tonight I received a call.  It was difficult to tell if the male voice on the other end was an actual human or a robot because they sounded so phony.  When they said they were calling from National Republican Congressional Committee, I knew they were phony.  Because I’m a registered Democrat.

Then they had the gall to ask me if SHITHOLE is doing a better job than Obama.  I don’t know if they thought they would catch me off guard or what the fuck they were thinking but I gave them a resounding “no, he isn’t” and ended the call.

It’s almost three years into this “presidency” and if you still feel the need to call people (mind you, registered Democrats), to ask if your SHITHOLE is doing better than the guy before him, then that’s all you need to know.  Because if he WAS doing better than the guy before him, or even better than the TEN guys before him, you wouldn’t have to ask, now would you?

That’s thirty seconds of my life I’ll never get back.

Posted in writing

No Choice?

The other day when SHITHOLE held his latest pep rally in Manchester, NH, he told the people dumb enough to be there that they had no choice, they had to vote for him.  He may as well as hold a gun to their heads, since he’s now  forcing people to vote for him.  It makes you wonder if he would resort to violence to make it happen.  I wouldn’t put it past him.

Then today he picked on the Jews stating that any Jewish person who voted Democratic would be showing “great disloyalty” and “lack of knowledge”.

SHITHOLE wouldn’t know loyalty or knowledge if it knocked him into the next universe.  He hasn’t been loyal to the United States and he knows nothing about what the fuck he’s doing.  The only thing he’s been loyal to is himself and the only thing he knows about is what makes him happy.

The biggest thing I have gathered from SHITHOLE’S rhetoric?  Desperation.

But, man, if he thinks threatening people if they don’t vote for him or calling out classes of people is what is going to get him re-elected, he’s a dumber SHITHOLE than I thought.

 

Posted in Entertainment, music

Why Did The Beatles Cross The Road?

A great Throwback Thursday edition…

Last night, August 7, I was sitting in a music studio during my daughter’s piano lesson.

While the teacher went over all the scales, notes, rests, measures, and other musical jargon with my daughter, I began to focus on the huge “Abbey Road” poster hanging above the piano.  Of course I’ve seen the image before.  It’s obviously iconic.  I’ve even noticed the poster in the studio before.  But tonight I really noticed it.

I vaguely recalled hearing stories about Paul.  And wasn’t he barefoot?  From where I sat it looked like he probably was.  Or were those just light colored shoes?  Maybe I was just bored with listening to the lesson but I let my mind wander even more.

Why were they walking in the order they were?  Did Ringo really want to walk behind John?  Wasn’t Paul concerned with possibly stepping on the backs of Ringo’s shoes with his bare feet?  Did the photographer call out John for walking too fast and having to make the others hurry to catch up?  Why were they wearing the clothes they were wearing?  Whose decision was it to have them walk across the street?  Had they each made their own decision on what to wear or was it a managerial decision? Other than the Abbey Road studio being on the same street, why this street?  Why a street at all?  Who owned the VW?  What was each one thinking as they crossed the street?  In scrutinizing the photo from where I was sitting, they didn’t look very happy.  Then again, I knew “Abbey Road” was recorded near the end. So maybe that was it.

When I arrived home like any curious bugger would, I jumped online and found an article written in 2016 about the story behind the album’s artwork.  Ironically, the photo for “Abbey Road” was one of six shot by photographer Lain Macmillan at 10 in the morning on August 8, 1969.  Fifty years ago this very day.

I read on about how traffic had been stopped for ten minutes while this photographer stood on a stepladder to get shots.  Of course I’d heard the stories about Paul being “dead” and many had a theory that the Paul in the photo really wasn’t Paul.  There’s a VW allegedly depicting a license plate that read “28IF” indicating to some theorists that Paul would have been 28 “if he lived” (but who can read the plate?).  Interesting but kind of far-fetched.  Also many believe that the members are wearing the clothes they are wearing as a representation of Paul being “dead”:  John is in white representing Jesus, Ringo, in black, is the undertaker, Paul is barefoot and allegedly walking with his eyes closed (who can tell?) because he’s “dead”.  He’s also holding a cigarette in his right hand, although he is left-handed.  But who holds a cigarette in their hand at all if they’re dead?  Finally, George is all in denim because he’s the gravedigger.  It’s an interesting theory and it very well may have been the band’s way at playing one final game with their fans before their split.  But even Paul has dismissed it.  Or was it really Paul?

Anyway, here we are on August 8, 2019 to celebrate fifty years of one of the most iconic album covers of our time.  May it still intrigue music lovers fifty years from now and leave them wondering as much as it has made me wonder.