You can never go wrong with an episode of “The Golden Girls”. Especially a Christmas episode.

The Florida heat has gotten to everyone and nobody wants to shop any longer, putting everyone (except Rose) in a foul mood. To make matters worse, Stan, Dorothy’s ex-husband, shows up looking for a handout to jumpstart his new “business”, a “research and development lab”. He just needs $1000 from each of the ladies. Of course they say no and send Stan packing.

Dorothy then suggests that because of the intense heat and fact it’s only two days until Christmas, instead of each of them going shopping for each other, they just each pick a name and buy for that one person. Of course Rose asks who’s names they will be picking and Dorothy sarcastically replies “The Oak Ridge Boys”. Blanche isn’t keen on choosing names because she doesn’t like Rose’s gifts. But exchange names they do and to her displeasure, Blanche’s gift giver is Rose.

Surprisingly on Christmas morning Blanche is surprised with her gift from Rose.

Blanche: “It’s a beautiful blouse.”

Rose: “I hope it’s alright. Dorothy said you’d like something crotchless.”

Rose then announces that she has to get ready to go to the church to help serve dinner to the homeless. The other offer to volunteer, although Sophia does seem perturbed to be missing out on watching “Scarface”.

While serving the food, a man dressed as Santa Claus approaches Dorothy. It turns out to be Stan.

Dorothy later confides in Stan as he’s eating and asks him what he’s doing there. She learns that Stan has hit hard times, that he was just trying to swindle money out of them with his “research and development lab” story and his wife has thrown him out of the house. He mentions how he was relying on a shipment of toy firetrucks from Germany to come through for the holidays and they had just arrived the day before so he had no means of selling them in time.

Dorothy becomes angry at Stan for lying to her and for being the jerk that he’s always been. Then while she’s dishing out pie with Blanche, Sophia comes in and tells Dorothy how Stan is out there bringing everyone else down. Dorothy goes and talks to him, they reminisce about old times and she reminds him how he’s always been an innovator. In the end, Stan comes in as Santa with his sack full of the fire engines he no longer has any means for and passes them out to the children that are there.

Celebrating its 70^th anniversary this year is this classic episode from “The Honeymooners” featuring an orange juice squeezer in the shape of Napoleon’s head and a lot of Christmas gift hijinks between Alice and Ralph. Because Alice can’t trust Ralph with not trying to find his present.

While Alice is gone from the apartment, Ed drops in and Ralph can’t help but brag about the present his has gotten Alice: a box to keep hairpins in. Ralph blabs on to Ed that he was told the box is all handmade, 2000 matches glued together and made in Japan. On top of that, the guy told Ralph that it’s the only one in the whole world and that at one time it was in the house of the Emperor of Japan. Ralph is convinced he’s sitting on a really special gift for Alice.

Ed convinces Ralph to give the gift to Alice that night, although the Kramdens usually wait until Christmas morning to exchange gifts. Just as Ralph is about to give Alice her gift, a neighbor, Mrs. Stevens, arrives with a gift for Alice. Wouldn’t you know it’s the same one-of-a-kind hairpin box that Ralph is holding behind his back. The look on Ralph’s face as he watches Alice open it is priceless. Now Ralph has a real dilemma on his hands.

Ralph needs to figure out how to get cash fast to buy another present. Ralph keeps knocking himself for spending his last $22.00 on a bowling ball. Because if he hadn’t, he’d have the money to buy Alice another gift.

Ralph believes his problem is solved when Uncle Leo stops by with a gift and it just happens to be a twenty-five dollar gift certificate to a store. But before he can spend it on another gift for Alice, a misunderstanding causes it to wind up in Alice’s hands.

In a twist straight out of “The Gift of the Magi”, Ralph decides to hock his bowling ball and takes the proceeds to purchase a new gift for Alice.

In the final scene when Alice and Ralph exchange gifts, Ralph discovers that Alice has gifted him a bowling ball bag and he has to come clean about his bowling ball whereabouts when she wants to see how well the ball fits in the bag. And what did Ralph buy Alice with his bowling ball proceeds? An orange juice squeezer in the shape of Napoleon’s head. Which Alice just loves. Probably as much as Trixie loves hers.

The episode ends with Ralph’s monologue about Christmas: “Christmas, well it’s about the best time of the whole year. You walk down the streets even for weeks before Christmas comes and there’s lights hanging up, green ones and red ones, sometimes there’s snow and everybody’s hustling someplace. But they don’t hustle around Christmastime like they usually do. You know, there’re a little more friendly. They bump into you, they laugh and they say pardon me, Merry Christmas. Especially when it gets really close to Christmas night. Everybody’s walking home, you can hardly hear a sound. Bells are ringing, kids are singing. Snow is coming down. And boy what a pleasure it is to think that you got someplace to go to and the place that you’re going to there’s somebody in it that you really love. Someone you’re nuts about. Merry Christmas”.

This year I’ll be posting my favorite top 25 Christmas television episodes. It includes a little bit of everything, from the 50’s to 2024. Starting December 1…stay tuned!

Because the assholes in the government can’t agree on anything (because most Republicans don’t want anything good for the American public, such as affordable healthcare), the government shut down on October 1.

Among many things the shutdown has affected is SNAP or Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program which provides food benefits to 42 million Americans. Of course the decision to halt SNAP benefits was decided before the shutdown even happened.

So November 1 came and people learned they weren’t going to have SNAP benefits for November. Some lawsuits were filed against the SHITHOLE “administration”, legal demands of the release of SNAP benefits were issued, SHITHOLE filed an appeal, the appeal was denied, SHITHOLE ran to the Not So Supreme Court and a temporary 48-hour “pause” was put in place.

Meanwhile many states said “fuck you SHITHOLE and the Not So Supreme Court” and went ahead and released SNAP benefits to their constituents anyway because, SHOCKER! People need to eat to survive!

There’s also a question as to whether the USDA and/or SHITHOLE has the money to provide SNAP benefits. Because it’s believed SHITHOLE has appropriated the money for himself. Because it costs money to destroy the Shit House and put in a new tacky bathroom. And that 40 billion to Argentina didn’t come out of SHITHOLE’S pockets.

As of this writing it appears we may be on the verge of the government opening back up, albeit for a short while. Because once it’s realized that compromises can’t be made, it will shut back down again. And soon it will be December. Meanwhile food banks are becoming overwhelmed.

If leaving a legacy of starving Americans is what SHITHOLE wants to be known for, he’s on the right path.