Yesterday an actual “representative” from the United States Congress went on the shit bird site and declared that “Yes, they can control the weather. It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say that it can’t be done”. That statement came from none other than Marjorie Taylor Greene, a/k/a Crazy Marge.

Now who “they” may actually be, who knows? Could be Democrats, Republicans, ghosts, aliens, monsters, cats, dogs, rabbits, you name it. My second question for Crazy Marge is “how” they can control it. Because, shit, if that were true, we should hope they’d be working on getting nice, beautiful weather everywhere in the country. Maybe “they” could send a snowstorm my way, because I really love the snow and it’s never too early. Maybe “they” could arrange for it to constantly rain at Crazy Marge’s house all the time. Because she deserves it. Definitely have some really shitty weather happening at Mar-A-Shitlo all the time so SHITHOLE can’t golf. I mean, since “they” control it. May as well have some fun with it, right? It still doesn’t answer “how” “they” control it. Does whoever “they” may be hold in their piss until they can’t any longer and then release it on Georgia? Are mudslides actually forms of raging diarrhea that “they” release on California for making really bad movies? Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with bodily functions. Maybe “they” just wave their magic sharpie, hold it across a map of the United States and say “HURRICANE!” and BOOM! Asheville, North Carolina is destroyed. Who. The. Fuck. Knows.

All I know is that if Crazy Marge actually believes this, and I’m pretty certain she does, among other nonsense she has spewed, she doesn’t belong in Congress. She belongs in a mental institution.