What do you get when you are visited by Santa, Superman and an armadillo all at the same time? One would think one hell of a costume party but in this episode of “Friends,” when these three appear in the same room, it’s actually Christmas!
The episode opens with Chandler making reservations at Michel’s and getting tickets to “The Music Man” to celebrate he and Monica’s first holiday season as a betrothed couple. Phoebe walks in carrying a skull and places it on Monica’s table. After scaring the shit out of Rachel by saying it’s her mother’s, she clarifies that it belonged to her mother and her mother used to put it out every Christmas to remind everyone that although it’s Christmas, people still die. And you can put candy in it. Ross walks in and informs everyone he gets Ben for the holidays this year but when Monica asks him if he’s going to dress up like Santa, he says he isn’t and he’s going to take the season to teach him about Hannukah. Phoebe adds that maybe she can teach him about the Christmas skull and how people die. Joey appears out of nowhere, apparently coming out of Monica’s bathroom.
Rachel: Did you know he was in there?
Monica: No.
Chandler: How long have we been home?
Monica: About a half hour
Chandler: Lovely.
At Central Perk we learn that Monica has no intention of taking the name Bing when they wed because the name is weird and Phoebe announces that her apartment is almost ready so she’s going to be moving out. She says she’s going to tell Rachel. Chandler asks her if she and Rachel are going to be living together again and Phoebe says, yeah, why not. Chandler assumes since Rachel was having so much fun living with Joey she was going to stay living there. So now because Phoebe thinks Rachel doesn’t want to live with her again, she makes various gift purchases throughout the show to try to get Rachel to move out. Starting with a drum set for Joey.
Chandler and Monica go to Michel’s and Monica tries to teach Chandler how to “shake down” the maître d because they’re going to be late for their show due to being seated too late for dinner. It doesn’t go over very well.
Ross and Ben are hanging out at his apartment and Ross asks Ben if he knows what holiday is coming up. He tells him Christmas and then Ross asks him what other holiday is coming up and he replies Christmas Eve. Ross replies, “But also Hanukkah” and then goes on to explain that Ben is part Jewish and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly
Ross: Right, but Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle.
Ross then goes on to explain the holiday in between Ben singing “Jingle Bells” and “Rudolph”.
Ben: When is Santa coming?
Ross: Well, how about this year instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah.
Ben: No Santa? Was I bad?
Ross: No, Oh, no, no. You weren’t bad. You’ve been very good, Ben.
Ben: Santa’s mad at me.
Ross assures Ben Santa isn’t mad at him and that Ben is his favorite little guy.
Ben: So Santa’s coming?
Ross: Yes. Santa’s coming.
And you know Ross is now going to be stuck playing Santa Claus. If he can.
Back at Michel’s, Chandler still can’t “shake down” the maître d.
At Joey’s, Phoebe walks in to discover Rachel playing the drums and loving it. Much to Phoebe’s displeasure.
Phoebe reveals to Monica and Chandler that she bought the drums to annoy Rachel so she wouldn’t want to live with Joey any longer.
Since Phoebe realizes that the drum thing isn’t going to work, she comes in with another present for Joey: a tarantula, which scares the shit out of him but Rachel seems to love it because she had one when she was a kid. Phoebe is foiled again. But Rachel senses something is wrong and Phoebe tells her the apartment is ready. Rachel tells Phoebe if she really wanted to freak her out, she should have gotten Joey a fish because Rachel hates fish.
Rachel agrees to go with Phoebe to see the apartment.
Ross visits a costume shop to try to rent a Santa costume but it’s two days before Christmas and they are out of Santa costumes. Ross asks if they have anything Christmasy.
The next thing we see is Ross dressed as in an armadillo costume standing in Monica’s doorway.
Ross: I’m the Holiday Armadillo!
Ben is there and the Holiday Armadillo explains that he’s a friend of Santa’s and that he was sent there to wish Ben a Merry Christmas.
Monica: What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?
Ross: Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas
Monica: Oh, come in and have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from…Texas
Ben: Texas?
Ross: That’s right, Ben. I’m Santa’s representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!
But Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. Maybe the lady will help me with these presents.
Monica grabs the sack of presents and Ross nearly knocks her out with his tail. Monica empties the sack on to the floor and Ross wishes Ben a Merry Christmas, oooh and Happy Hanukkah.
The Holiday Armadillo then offers to tell Ben about the Festival of Lights. So, just as the Holiday Armadillo is starting to tell Ben about the Maccabees, in bursts Chandler dressed as Santa, which totally distracts Ben from the Holiday Armadillo’s story. Of course, the Holiday Armadillo is taken by surprise and asks what Santa is doing there.
Santa/Chandler: Well, I’m here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird turtle man?
Ross/Holiday Armadillo: I’m the Holiday Armadillo. Your part Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents, remember?
Santa: What?
Ben: Did you bring me any presents, Santa?
Santa: You bet I did, Ben. Put her there.
Chandler then goes to hand Ben some money and drops it.
Chandler to Monica: Well, it would have worked this time if his hands weren’t so damn small.
Chandler still can’t hand off a monetary bribe, even when it’s not in a restaurant!
Monica: Okay, Ben, why don’t you come open some more presents and Santa, the armadillo and I will go have a talk in the kitchen. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.
Ross asks Chandler what he’s doing and Chandler explains that he borrowed a Santa costume from a guy at work because Ross was having trouble finding one. Ross thanks him but tells him he has to leave.
Chandler: Why?
Ross: Because I’m finally getting him excited about Hanukkah. I mean you—you’re wrecking it.
Chandler: But I didn’t get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Ross: Chandler, this is really important to me.
Chandler: Fine. I’ll give the suit back.
Monica: Hey. You think you can keep it another night?
Holiday Armadillo tells Ben Santa has to leave and Ben gets upset and asks why he has to go.
Santa: Because if Santa and the Holiday…Armadillo are ever in the same room for too long, the universe will implode. Merry Christmas!
Ben says he wants the armadillo to leave and Ross gives in and let’s Santa stay.
Santa: Well, I’ll stay but only because I want to hear about Hanukkah. Ben, will you sit here with Santa and learn about Hanukkah?
Ben: Okay, Santa.
Ross quietly thanks Santa. Ross starts the story of Hanukkah again and once again, once he gets to the part that mentions the Maccabees, in bursts Joey—dressed as Superman.
Joey/Superman: Merry Christmas!
The next scene is Rachel and Phoebe looking at the new apartment. Phoebe’s upset because she can’t feel her grandmother’s presence any longer. The wall that they had in their old place is gone and both women are wondering if they should start looking for a new place. Rachel senses that Phoebe wants to live there alone and tells Phoebe it’s okay and that she loves living with Joey.
Back at Monica’s, the Holiday Armadillo is finishing up his Festival of Lights story.
Santa: My favorite part was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt.
Ross: The armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part. Okay, Ben, it’s time to light the Hanukkah candles.
They all go over to the Menorah to light the candles and in walk Phoebe and Rachel.
Rachel: It looks like the Easter Bunny’s funeral in here.
Phoebe: I understand why Superman is here but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny’s funeral?
The final scene shows Rachel putting the tarantula back in the cage and Joey yelling from the other room to make sure she got it.
Rachel: Joey, will you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Joey opens the bedroom door and we see he’s still wearing his Superman costume.


You must be logged in to post a comment.