During a truce, the members of the 4077 are excited that they may actually get through the Christmas holiday without seeing much medical action. Unfortunately, Colonel Potter spoils their happiness when he announces a supply convoy has been hit and they may soon be receiving patients.

On top of the bad news, the 4077 is hosting a slew of Korean orphans for the holiday and Klinger must try to round up treats from the MASH personnel to share with their visitors. Winchester is hesitant to share any of his care packages from home but as it turns out he has a good reason.

Just as the festivities are about to begin, a jeep pulls up with a wounded soldier named Flanagan who has been hit by a sniper. Houlihan, BJ and Hawkeye tend to soldier Flanagan while the party goes on in the next tent.

While caring for the wounded soldier the three not only learn that the patient is not going to be able to be saved, Margaret discovers a photo of Flanagan and his family. That sets BJ in motion to try to delay the death of the soldier so his children will not have to remember Christmas as the day their father died.

Meanwhile Winchester learns that the care packages of fancy candy he had delivered to Mr. Choi have been sold on the black market. Winchester confronts Choi about selling the candy. Choi explains that although Winchester’s anonymous gift would have given the children joy for a fleeting moment, the value on the black market would give them enough rice and cabbage for a month. This explanation humbles Winchester and makes him sorry for not understanding in the first place. While Winchester is wallowing in his humble pie back in his tent, Klinger comes in with the last of the leftovers from the party. When Winchester asks Klinger who is responsible for the food, Klinger replies “the source of this Christmas dinner must remain anonymous. It’s an old family tradition”, making the viewer aware that Klinger knows of Winchester’s anonymous charity from the previous night and Winchester is more than grateful.

Back in the tent with Flanagan, he dies at 11:25 p.m. Margaret quips: “It never fails to astonish me. You’re alive, you’re dead. No drums. No flashing lights. No fanfare. You’re just dead.”

Hawkeye goes to the clock and moves the time to five past midnight and says, “Look, he made it. Time of death 12:05 December 26”.

In a touching moment, the final scene has Colonel Potter dressed as Santa and one of the orphans delivering the last four pieces of BJ’s fudge to BJ, Hawkeye, Houlihan and Father Mulcahy as the party goers sing a rendition of “Silent Night”.

The posting of this episode is dedicated to the memory of Loretta Swit who played Major Margaret Houlihan and sadly passed away in May of this year. May her memory live on.

It’s Mary Richards ‘s first Christmas away from home working at station WJM-TV. In the opening scene, she’s talking with her mother on the phone about coming home for Christmas. Of course, when she asks her boss, Mr. Grant, if she can get off early Christmas Eve, he calls her into his office.

There he analyzes a ridiculously small tree that Mary put on his desk. Mr. Grant tells Mary that he hasn’t had Christmas off in seven years.

Mr. Grant: Christmas is just like any other day when you work in a newsroom. You know what I mean?

Mary: No.

Mr. Grant: Oh. You gotta work on Christmas.

Back at Mary’s apartment, she’s hanging out with Rhoda and decorating a Christmas tree. Phyllis stops by and asks to hide her daughter’s gifts at Mary’s. Mary tells Rhoda about her Christmas dilemma and having to work. Mary suggests since she doesn’t have to work Christmas Eve, she and Rhoda spend it together and Rhoda agrees.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve back at the station. Ted walks in complaining about the people down the hall having a Christmas party with Chuckles and how the newsroom can’t have a Christmas party. Mr. Grant reminds him why.

Mr. Grant: Because of what you did last year.

Mary: What’d you do, Ted?

Ted:  I don’t remember.

Mary asks Murray what happened, and he tells her that once he got a few drinks in, he felt like telling off the boss.

Mr. Grant: Except he did it on the air.

Murray and Mr. Grant go on to explain it was the President of the United States Ted told off on the air. (Oh, Ted, where are you now? This obviously was during the Nixon administration). Apparently, Ted did it because he was angry that he had sent a Christmas card and didn’t get one back.

Fred comes in and reminds anyone who is listening that he has to work New Year’s Eve too.

Mary and Murray exchange gifts. Ted passes out gifts also. Personalized record albums of The Year in Review as told by Ted Baxter.

Fred comes over and talks to Mary about not being able to go home for Christmas and starts to coerce her into working that night so he can be with his family. He says he’ll trade and work New Year’s Day for her so she can watch all the football games. Then Fred lays it on thick, saying he’s never spent Christmas Eve with his kids. Mary caves and asks him to cover so she can go home and have dinner.

Back at Mary’s apartment, Rhoda comes by with a large gift for Mary—a rotisserie oven. Mary’s ecstatic. Mary gives Rhoda a blouse. Then Rhoda tells Mary she bought a turkey for that night and Mary tells her she has to work. Rhoda leaves and Mary is left eating her sandwich before she has to return to the station.

Back at the station, Ted has given his Christmas broadcast and everyone is getting ready to leave. Mr. Grant calls Mary into the office and gives her an envelope. It’s a card and a check. A blank check. Grant grabs the check, decides what amount to fill in, pensively thinking, puts it back in the card and gives it back to Mary.

Grant discusses her working Christmas Eve for Fred and how he feels responsible for her being alone. He offers to stay and do paperwork, but Mary insists he go home.

Mary is all alone in the newsroom and is watching TV when she hears a voice coming from a speaker. The voice is looking for Fred. She goes to the microphone and talks back to the voice, informing him she’s filling in for Fred. She learns the voice is Charlie and he’s out at the transmitter. Charlie wants to end the conversation, but she wants to keep talking. She asks about the joke he was going to tell Fred and he says he can’t tell her the joke. She asks if he has any family, and he tells her about his kids and grandkids and how they’re all meeting at his son Paul’s place. He asks if she has family and she says “not tonight” and ends the conversation

Suddenly the newsroom phone rings. She answers it. There’s nobody on the other end. For good measure, Mary puts a chair against the newsroom door. Next she hears the elevator start up. Frightened, she calls Rhoda and tells her nobody is in the building and she hears the elevator. Rhoda tells her to call the police.

Mary: I can’t call the police. What am I going to tell them? That I heard the elevator?

She turns and sees shadows outside the newsroom door. She hangs up the phone and grabs a ceramic Santa as a weapon. In burst Mr. Grant, Murray and Ted and Mary is so glad to see them.

They invite her to a Christmas party at Murray’s but Mr. Grant reminds them they have to stay until midnight because the night manager always calls at two minutes to midnight to wish whoever is there a Merry Christmas.

The episode ends with Mary and Murray happily singing and Mary realizing that although she couldn’t go home for Christmas, being with her work family is already like being at home.

All Howard Cunningham wants for Christmas Eve is to have a nice quiet evening at home with just the family: himself, his wife Marion, daughter Joanie, son Richie and even his elusive other son Chuck.

Despite the fact Howard wants a nice quiet Christmas Eve, the mechanical Santa in the front yard is malfunctioning and is randomly beating up Richie. Much to Chuck’s delight.

Down at Arnold’s Fonzie comes in with gifts for some of the waitresses and Ralph Malph, Potsie and Richie. Everyone just loves their new necklaces that declare “You’re The Ginchiest”. The heartfelt gift from The Fonz prompts Potsie to invite Fonzie to his house for Christmas dinner. But Fonzie says he has plans. When questioned what his plans are The Fonz says he’s going to his cousin’s up in Waukesha. As the guys listen, Fonz continues: “I’m not much for family but I figure once a year I can take it. I’m leaving tonight on the 4 o’clock bus.”

As Richie and Howard are about to leave Howard’s hardware store, they have car trouble. Richie calls Fonzie who just so happens to still be at his garage. Richie tells his father that Fonz says he can fix it if they can push it over there.

Fonzie fixes the car and refuses payment from Howard. Richie points out to Fonzie that it’s after four and he’s missed his bus. Fonzie says “so what, I’ll catch the one at five:. Richie suggests they drive Fonzie to Waukesha. Fonz starts getting defensive and tells Richie and Howard to leave.

The two pull out of the garage but before they leave Richie tells Howard he has to give Fonzie his present. When he goes to open the door, he witnesses Fonzie sitting alone, getting ready to have a meal. He doesn’t look like someone getting ready to go to Waukesha. Richie knows something is up.

Back at the Cunningham’s, the family is busy decorating the tree as Howard recites everything they’re going to do once the tree is trimmed: make hot cider, pop popcorn, everything they used to do when they were little. Richie meanwhile is not feeling festive and Howard notices, saying to him “what’s the matter with you, you’ve been moping around since we got home”. Richie confides to Howard that he doesn’t think Fonzie went to Waukesha. Marion pipes in and asks Richie if he thinks Fonzie is all alone on Christmas Eve. Richie admits to seeing him eating ravioli out of a can and states “Now what kind of a way is that to spend Christmas Eve?” Everyone gives Howard the evil eye as he tries to brush the fact aside that Fonzie is all alone. Richie suggests they go over to Fonzie’s and finally convinces Howard to go.

They go to Fonzie’s and he comes out with a  suitcase insinuating he’s on his way to the bus station. Richie and Howard ask to talk to him. Richie asks Fonzie if he’d like to spend Christmas Eve with them. Howard uses the Santa in the front yard who is malfunctioning as an excuse to get Fonzie to their house because he needs to fix it.

In the end Fonzie fixes Santa but still insists he needs to get going. He also manages to fix the Christmas lights on their tree.

Marion asks “What would we do without you, Fonzie?”

And Richie adds, “Our car would be stuck in the snow, our tree would be out and our Santa would be mugging the neighbors.”

Howard points out that it’s three minutes past nine and Fonzie has missed his last bus and Marion insists he spend the night. As they’re roasting marshmallows by the fire, Fonzie turns to Richie and says “Thanks for having all your freckles in the right place” because he knows Richie is the one who figured out the truth about Waukesha. And he’s truly grateful for his friendship.

Of all the Christmas episodes “The Jeffersons” aired, this one has always been my favorite. Because I couldn’t find any place online showing the entire episode, the bulk of what I’m posting here is from memory. Good thing I have seen this episode several times over the years.

Tom Willis is scheduled to play Santa Claus for some orphans at the Help Center. Unfortunately, Tom has sprained his ankle and can’t do it. So guess who gets coerced into playing Santa by Louise and Helen? George. Of course.

So George and Louise arrive at the Help Center, George dressed haphazardly as Santa, carrying a sack and yelling “Ha, ha, ha” instead of “Ho, ho, ho”. The kids just stare at him and George seems bewildered.

One kid calls George out: Hey, man, you ain’t Santa Claus!

George: See, I told you it wouldn’t work, Weezy. Bye!

Louise steps in and asks the boy, “What makes you think this isn’t Santa Claus”.

To which the child replies, “’Cause Santa Claus ain’t Black, he’s White”.

George replies, “What makes you think Santa Claus is a honky?”

The kid continues saying he’s six years old, he’s lived and he ain’t never seen a Black Santa Claus. The kid does have a point.

Billy, one of the older kids, played by Meeno Peluce, pipes in: “Look, it doesn’t matter what color Santa Claus is. ‘Cause there ain’t no such thing as Santa Claus.”

To which George says “Say what?”

Billy continues, “Hey, man, don’t jive these kids”. He turns to his peers. “Look, every year some jerk in a red suit comes here, tries to pass himself off as Santa Claus. We tell him what we want, he writes it down and we end up getting stuff that other people donate. We never get what we really want. Right?”

George: “Hey, wait a second. Were those other guys White guys?

Billy: “Yeah”.

George: “Well, there you go!”

George goes on to say that he will give the kids what they want and he will be there personally on Christmas Eve to deliver it. All the kids cheer except Billy.

George and Louise start noting what each kid would like and the kid who originally doubted him, Mark, now thinks Santa is “alright”, as he and Santa George share a handshake.

As the children leave, Santa thanks them and then notices Billy sitting alone and as Billy gets up to leave he says, “See ya Santa” but George calls him back, asks him his name and mentions that he never told Santa what he’d want for Christmas.

George: “There must be something you really want”

Billy: “Yeah, there’s something I really want but you can’t get it for me.”

But George insists. Anything he wants.

Billy: “Anything I want?”

George: Anything you want.

Billy: You promise?

George: I promise.

Billy: Okay, Santa. Get me parents.

Oh boy.

Not one to break a promise, George is determined to find Billy parents. Mrs. Thompson, who works with the kids, sets up a meeting between Billy and a couple who may be interested in adopting him. But when Mrs. Thompson calls Louise and tells him that the couple felt Billy was too old, Louise has to tell George that the adoption fell through. George suggests he and Louise adopt him and Louise reminds him you don’t adopt someone just to keep a promise, you adopt to be a parent.

Louise tells George she has bought Billy a remote control car but George is upset that he can’t keep his promise and refuses to go with her to the Help Center, which angers Louise. But George just can’t face Billy. He tells Louise to go and to make an excuse for him.

After Louise leaves, Florence lets into George.

Florence: You owe Billy an explanation but instead of facing him yourself, you’re sending your wife down there to do your dirty work. Now we’ve had our differences in the past and I know I’ve called you plenty of names: shorty, big mouth, airhead…but there’s one name I never thought I’d call you, Mr. Jefferson, and that’s coward.

Down at the Help Center, Louise is talking with Mark, the boy who originally dissed Santa. He’s very happy with his robot and comments that Santa got everyone what they wanted. Billy pipes in, “No he didn’t.”

Mark offers to let Billy play with his robot but Billy refuses, saying it’s for kids and so is believing in Santa Claus. Mark calls him out, saying Santa is for real but Billy notes that if he’s for real, how come he isn’t there right now like he promised. And Mark asks Louise why and she tells him because he had to change the bulb in Rudolph’s nose. Then, just as Louise is about to explain further to Billy why Santa isn’t there, in walks George dressed as Santa.

Mark points out to Santa that he made a mistake because he didn’t get Billy what he wanted. Which makes George feel guilty all over again. Santa goes over to Billy to talk to him and tells him that although he tried, he couldn’t get any parents for him.

As they talk Mark comes over to him with his robot and tells him it doesn’t work. And Santa points out to him that it looks like he already has a family, that all the younger kids look up to him. George tells him that a family is really a bunch of people living together who care about each other. A little girl comes over with her broken doll and asks Santa if he can fix it. Billy offers to fix it.

Then he turns to Santa and says, “It was nice talking to you. I got a family to take care of.”

Of all the “Seinfeld” Christmas episodes, this one is my favorite. Mainly because Jerry Stiller makes it so much better, as he did many of the “Seinfeld” episodes.

We start off with Jerry, Elaine and George at Tim Whatley’s Hannukah party. Elaine gets hit on by a man she refers to as “denim vest”, who she gives a fake number to. Jerry hits on a woman who ends up only looking good only in certain light.

George and Jerry meet at the coffee shop where George reveals he ate all the cocktail wieners at the party and then proceeds to open his mail. One of the pieces of mail is a card from Whatley stating that a donation has been made in George’s name to Children’s Alliance. Which pisses George off because he got him Yankee tickets and all he got was this stupid card and supposedly a donation in his name. Elaine comes in and mentions she’s going to Atomic Sub and that she has a card she stamps every time she buys a sub. Twenty-four subs and she’s a submarine captain. And gets a free sub.

George looks disheartened as he continues opening his mail, revealing what looks like a Christmas card. As he stuffs the card back into the envelope. Jerry and Elaine wonder what the issue is.

George: It’s a card from my dad.

Elaine grabs it and reads it: “Dear Son, Happy Festivus. What is Festivus?”

George: It’s nothing.

Then Jerry proceeds to tell the story about when George was growing up, his father started Festivus because he hated all the commercial and religious aspects of Christmas. As Jerry continues, mentioning there was a pole and feats of strength involved, George grabs his mail and runs out of the coffee shop, leaving Elaine and Jerry laughing.

Back at Jerry’s apartment, Kramer is lounging on the sofa, reading Jerry’s VCR manual. Elaine discovers that she mistakenly wrote her fake phone number on her Atomic Sub card and gave it to “denim vest” guy. So, she has to get a hold of “denim vest”. Jerry suggests she call her blow off number to see if he’s called it. Before she goes to call, another phone rings, one that Kramer happens to be sitting on. Kramer answers it to discover the H & H Bagel strike is over and now he can go back to work. Kramer shows Jerry and Elaine his business card and explains they’ve been on strike for twelve years. Jerry asks why he never mentioned it and Kramer says “I didn’t want you to know I was out of work. It’s embarrassing.”

Kramer goes to H & H and the guy running the place, Harry, hires him for the holidays. Meanwhile, Elaine goes to Horsetrack Betting, because that’s the fake phone number she gave denim vest guy. The guys working there tell her they’ve been getting calls for her for five years. He tells her if she gives him her real number, he’ll have the vest guy call her. But instead of giving out her real number, she jots down the number to H & H Bagels.

Jerry is meeting Gwen, the woman he picked up at Tim’s party, for dinner and when he sees her, he questions if it’s really her because she looks so different.

George tells Jerry about his Christmas present plans to all his co-workers at Kruger. He has made up a fake charity and wrote out on cards that indicate “a donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund.”

Kramer comes in with day old bagels that nobody wants to eat. George gets set to leave and on his way out Jerry wishes him a Happy Festivus and as Elaine comes in, she wishes him a Happy Festivus. So Kramer inquires what Festivus is and Jerry explains that Frank, George’s father, made up the holiday.

Kramer: Frank invented a holiday? He’s so prolific.

Elaine then tells him about how she’s given out the H & H Bagels number and if a guy calls looking for her, he should take a message. Because she’s still trying to get that free sub.

Kramer, being curious about Festivus, has called Frank, who shows up at H & H. Frank tells Kramer he hasn’t celebrated Festivus in years. Kramer wants to know everything.

Frank: Many Christmases ago I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rain blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us!

Kramer: That must’ve been some kind of doll.

Frank: She was.

Meanwhile at George’s place of work, Kruger’s, George is passing out his phony Human Fund donation cards and getting real gifts in return.

Back at H & H Frank is continuing to explain Festivus to Kramer.

Frank: And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.

Kramer: Is there a tree?

Frank: No, instead there’s a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.

Kramer: Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.

Frank: Let’s do it then! Festivus is back! I’ll get the pole out of the crawl space.

Elaine comes in and asks if there’s been any word from the vest. Kramer says no. He then asks his boss Harry for the 23^rd off and Harry has a problem with that because he hired Kramer to work during the holidays. Kramer explains that the 23^rd is Festivus and that Harry is infringing on Kramer’s right to celebrate new holidays. Harry says that’s not a right. Kramer says it’s going to be, rip offs his apron and declares he’s going back on strike. Kramer tries to get Elaine to leave but she says she has to stay to wait for her call. Kramer calls her a “scab” and leaves.

Jerry picks up Gwen for a date, who is looking good, until they go through a tunnel and then is looking bad.

Jerry talks about Gwen’s face changing phenomenon with George at the coffee shop, comparing it to a 3D baseball card. Jerry states the only place she really looks good is in the back booth at the coffee shop. While they are there, Frank and Kramer walk in with the Festivus pole, much to George’s chagrin.

Frank: George, Festivus is part of your heritage. It’s a part of who you are.

George: That’s why I hate it.

Kramer tells everyone there’s a big dinner at Frank’s on Tuesday night. Frank lays a tape recorder on the table, telling George he’s forgetting how much Festivus has meant to everyone. He plays the tape which portrays him telling George to read a poem and George saying he can’t because he needs his glasses and Frank calling him weak and Estelle yelling to leave him alone. A great Castanza family Festivus gathering if there ever was one. Then on the tape you hear Frank say, “Okay, George, it’s time for the Festivus Feats of Strength.” To which George freaks and demands it be turned off and he runs out of the coffee shop yelling “I hate Festivus!”

Gwen comes in looking not so good and Jerry suggests they go sit in the back booth and then she looks better. Jerry declares “Now this is a good-looking booth” and Gwen gives him a look.

Back at H & H, Kramer is picketing while Elaine is inside waiting for her call. The phone rings and Elaine answers it and it’s Kramer telling her to get out of there because he’s sabotaged the bagel machine. Next thing, the steam valve on the bagel machine starts blowing steam. Elaine is still waiting for her call.

At Kruger’s, Mr. Kruger presents George with a $20,000 check for the Human Fund which suddenly gives George a huge problem.

Back at the coffee shop Gwen is becoming disgusted with the soup and asks Jerry how many times they have to come to the place and Jerry tells her it’s their place. Then George comes in and Gwen leaves. George shows Jerry the check from Kruger and discusses becoming a philanthropist.

Elaine rushes out of H & H, her hair a mess from all the steam. She tells Kramer the vest just called and in ten minutes she’ll have her hands on the Atomic Sub card.

Kramer: And?

Elaine: Free sub.

Gwen comes by and greets Kramer and he doesn’t recognize her. Kramer tells her he’s seen Jerry’s girlfriend and that this woman he’s speaking to now is much better looking than Jerry’s girlfriend and a foot taller. So this makes Gwen think Jerry is seeing someone else on the side.

Gwen: That’s why we’re always hiding in that coffee shop. He’s afraid of getting caught.

Elaine meets up with vest, who we finally learn is named Steve. He doesn’t recognize her because her hair is a mess. She asks for the card. He says he has it back at his place but he can’t go there now. Elaine tells him to give her his number and he jots down a fake  number, just like she did.

Kruger has figured out there is no such thing as the Human Fund and George gives the money back. Kruger figures out that the cards George had given out were fake. George explains that he gave the fake cards because he doesn’t really celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Festivus. And he tells Kruger he could prove it. To which Kruger agrees.

The final scene has everyone congregating at Frank and Estelle’s for Festivus dinner. George brings Kruger, Elaine comes in looking terrible with Jerry, and Kramer walks in with the two guys from the horse betting place, much to Elaine’s surprise. They had called the number she gave them to ask her out and got H & H Bagels.

Kramer: I told them I was just about to see you. It’s a Festivus miracle!

Estelle comes out with dinner and everyone gathers around the table.

Frank: Welcome newcomers, the tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you’re gonna hear about it! You, Kruger, my son tells me your company stinks!

George: Oh, God…

Frank (to George): Quiet. You’ll get yours in a minute. Kruger, you couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe—I lost my train of thought.

Suddenly, Gwen appears and calls out Jerry.

Jerry: Gwen, how did you know I was here?

Gwen: Kramer told me.

Kramer: Another Festivus miracle!

Gwen points to Elaine and says, “I guess this is the ugly girl I’ve been hearing about.”

Elaine: Hey, I was in a Shvitz for six hours. Give me a break.

Gwen turns to leave, and Jerry runs after her then yelps and comes back in declaring “Bad lighting on the porch.”

Elaine asks the horse betting guys how her horse did and is told he had to be shot.

Frank then brings up the Feats of Strength and says this year the honor goes to Mr. Kramer.

Then Kramer remembers he has to leave because he has to work a double shift at H & H.

Jerry: I thought you were on strike.

Kramer: Yeah well, I caved. I mean I really had to use their bathroom. Frank, no offense but this holiday’s a little—out there.

George begs him not to go because who’s going to do the Feats of Strength? Kruger suggests George does it. Frank agrees.

Frank: Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over.

George: Please. Somebody stop this.

Frank: Let’s rumble!

In the very last scene, we see Kramer making bagels and getting his gum stuck in the dough. Harry sees this and fires him.

Kramer: Thank you!