Christmas Movie 7: “A Muppet Family Christmas”

Christmas Movie 7: “A Muppet Family Christmas”

What do you get when you gather Kermit and Company from “The Muppet Show” with almost every imaginable Muppet from “Sesame Street”, toss in a brief visit from The Fraggles and a human named Doc (Gerard Parkes)? You get the zany and entertaining “A Muppet Family Christmas”.

The plot revolves around Fozzie Bear driving out to the country with his Muppet friends (Kermit, Gonzo, the Electric Mayhem, etc.) to his mother’s house (Ma Bear voiced by Jerry Nelson) to surprise her for Christmas. Meanwhile, Ma Bear has already rented out her house for Christmas to Doc (Parkes) and his dog Sprocket (Steve Whitmire) so she can go to Malibu for the holidays. Change of plans, Ma.

So The Muppets are arriving at Ma Bear’s house and slipping one by one on the icy patch…which becomes a running gag throughout the film.

Then the gang from “Sesame Street” arrive and you really start to wonder where the hell is Ma Bear going to put all these Muppets?

And Doc is getting frustrated because he just wanted to spend a nice quiet Christmas alone with his dog. But everyone settles in and deals with it because, after all, it is Christmas.

The biggest problem seems to be that Miss Piggy is delayed in arriving because of a snowstorm, causing Kermit to worry.

Meanwhile Swedish Chef is trying to convince a turkey that he’s a turkey and will be dinner for everyone. The turkey isn’t having it and reveals the ultimate turkey to Swedish Chef: Big Bird. But in his true innocent way, Big Bird talks to Chef and gives him some birdseed. So, not sure, but maybe that’s what was served for dinner? Who knows!

Somewhere between the Swedish Chef trying to cook Big Bird and Kermit worrying about Miss Piggy, Robin discovers a Fraggle hole and lo and behold, we meet Gobo, Boober, Wembley, Red and Mokey Fraggle, hear them sing “Pass It On” and they present Robin with a nice, yellow pebble that has been passed on among them for years.

With Doc worrying about Kermit worrying about Piggy, he goes out to search for her and miraculously returns safely with her to the farmhouse where all is finally just perfect.

The film ends with a Muppet family singalong and a special final scene of Jim Henson himself in the kitchen washing dishes with Sprocket.

It really is a sweet film that’s been around since 1987 and not too well known about except mainly among Muppet fans. Definitely worth a watch.

Christmas Movie 8: “The Muppet Christmas Carol”

Christmas Movie 8: “The Muppet Christmas Carol”

You know it’s always going to be a good time when you have humans and Muppets acting together. And a good time is what you get in this 1992 version of Charles Dickens’ classic “A Christmas Carol”. This is the third version mentioned here on the Christmas movie rundown on this blog and in my opinion, the best version. And, of course, the only version involving Muppets.

This film would be Brian Henson’s directorial debut, released two years following his father’s death and eleven months following the death of Muppet performer Richard Hunt. The film is dedicated, rightfully so, to both of them.

The film opens up the same way any movie about Scrooge begins: with a blue, furry whatever (Gonzo–voiced by Dave Goelz) and a rat (Rizzo-voiced by Steve Whitmire) depicting Charles Dickens (Gonzo) and sidekick (other than Rizzo being a rat, he doesn’t actually seem to have a name in this flick other than co-narrator. But he does make us aware that he is there for the food).

The Jim Henson Company somehow managed to wrangle Sir Michael Caine into playing Ebenezer Scrooge for this film. Then again, what classic actor wouldn’t want to perform with The Muppets? Many have.

Of course you know the tale by now of how Scrooge is visited by three ghosts (not including Marley & Marley (Waldorf & Statler– Dave Goelz and Jerry Nelson). And how he has a clerk named Bob Cratchit (Kermit the Frog–Whitmire) and assistant “meeces” (really just a slew of rats trying to stay warm) that Scrooge treats like dirt. Cratchit has a family including Emily (Miss Piggy–Frank Oz), daughters Belinda and Betina (Whitmire and Goelz), and sons Peter and Tiny Tim (David Rudman and Jerry Nelson).

Along the way the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future and all the Muppets sing us through meeting Fozziwig (Fozzie Bear-Frank Oz), naturally the Cratchits and Mrs. Dilber (voiced by Louise Gold)

This film is a great family film and one that should be seen every year. There are so many humorous and memorable moments and Gonzo and Rizzo are the perfect hosts.

Christmas Movie 9: “A Christmas Story”

Christmas Movie 9: “A Christmas Story”

Most of us can relate to Ralphie Parker, the main character in “A Christmas Story”. We’ve been the kid coveting a certain something for Christmas: a special doll, a new bike, a certain something for our collection, a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. So we can shoot our goddamn eyes out.

Forty years later and a well-received revisit in 2022, “A Christmas Story” is alive and well and watched by millions leading up to Christmas and of course for 24 hours on Christmas Eve. “A Christmas Story” is so big that in 2012 it was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress. That’s one helluva award.

If you don’t know by now the story revolves around Ralphie (Peter Billingsley), a 9-year-old boy living in 1940’s Hohman, Indiana, whose only wish for Christmas is to receive the aforementioned Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. Which his mother (Melinda Dillon), teacher (Tedde Moore) and even Santa Claus is afraid he’ll use to shoot his eye out. Interestingly enough his father The Old Man (Darren McGavin) never mentions his worry about this. Probably because he was too preoccupied with his fra-gee-lay Italian Major Award.

There are so many memorable moments throughout the film, from Flick getting his tongue stuck to the flagpole to Ralphie beating the shit out of Scut Farkus. Fudge, anyone? I always thought Randy got the shit end of the stick. After all, he was stuffed into his winter coat by his mother until he looked like a tick about to pop, forced to eat like a pig and hid under the kitchen sink. It’s amazing he turned out to be a rich bastard as portrayed in the 2022 revisit.

And let’s not forget the Bumpus’s hounds and The Old Man and his turkey…

“A Christmas Story” truly brings back memories of Christmases past and how it used to be for so many. Such simpler times of listening to Little Orphan Annie, drinking Ovaltine and having your biggest worry be whether you’ll get your Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle and not shoot your eye out.

Christmas Movie 10: “Elf”

Christmas Movie 10: “Elf”

Can you believe it’s been twenty years? ALREADY? It seems just like yesterday we were laughing hysterically for the first time over what would become a holiday classic.

“Elf” stars Will Ferrell as Buddy, a human who, as a baby orphan, climbs into Santa’s sack (Santa is played by the late great Ed Asner) and is transported back to the North Pole. There Papa Elf (played by icon Bob Newhart) takes him under his wing and cares for him, raising him into the big Elf we come to know and love.

The problem is, Buddy has never really completely fit in. He knows he’s “different” from the other elves. He’s much bigger than they are, much slower at making toys and just, well, seems in the way. So Papa Elf finally tells him the truth about how he came to live at the North Pole. And that his parents are Walter Hobbs and Susan Wells. Of course we are never told how Papa Elf knows this. Maybe because he’s Papa Elf? Was Santa withholding info all these years? Who knows! But now Buddy is curious. Papa Elf tells Buddy his mother is dead but his father is still alive and well and working for a children’s book publishing company in the Empire State Building in New York City. So like any curious elf, Buddy takes off for New York to find his dad.

Of course like any elf who has never left the North Pole, Buddy discovers all kinds of things in New York: the world’s best cup of coffee, revolving doors, taxi cabs that don’t stop, people walking down the street dressed as Santa (actual people–NOT ACTORS!) gum on subway railings. You name it. And he eventually finds his father, much to Walter’s (James Caan) dismay. Walter already has a family: his son Michael (Daniel Tay) and wife Emily (Mary Steenburgen) and who is this strange guy dressed as an elf telling me I’m his long-lost father. So Walter has Buddy tossed from the building and the security guards sarcastically suggest Buddy go find a job at Gimbels. Which is exactly what he does.

There he becomes enamored with Jovie (Zooey Deschanel), a less-than-thrilled Gimbels employee dressed as an elf. Buddy gets over-excited when he learns that “Santa is coming to town” the following day and goes overboard decorating the toy department for Santa’s arrival.

Following a brawl with the imposter Santa who sits on the throne in the toy department (“You sit on a throne of lies!”), Buddy gets tossed in jail. Walter bails him out, takes him for a DNA test, done by none other than director Jon Favreau, learns Buddy is indeed his son, then takes him home to meet the family. Emily adores him. Walter and Michael can’t stand him, although Michael warms up to him when he and Buddy take on a bunch of bullies in a snowball fight. Michael also encourages Buddy to ask Jovie out on a date.

Walter’s publishing company is failing and in a last ditch effort on Christmas Eve they secure a meeting with Miles Finch (Peter Dinklage), a person Buddy mistakes as an elf, and an angry one at that.

Finch leaves in a huff, Walter gets pissed at Buddy, Buddy takes off and leaves the Hobbs’ apartment leaving a good-bye note on an Etch-a-Sketch. Michael tells Walter about Buddy leaving, Walter gets fired, Santa’s sleigh crashes in Central Park because the engine failed due to low Christmas spirit and the engine failing. Buddy reattaches the sleigh as Jovie leads a crowd of onlookers into singing “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”. Because that’s how you invoke the Christmas spirit in people, you know!

All’s well that ends well. Buddy writes a book about his life, allowing Walter to establish his own publishing company, Buddy and Jovie marry and have a child and live at the North Pole forever and ever with Papa Elf.

Christmas Movie 11: “The Christmas Chronicles”

Christmas Movie 11: “The Christmas Chronicles”

If it’s one gem Netflix has given us within the past five years, “The Christmas Chronicles” is it.

Released in November 2018, the film stars Kurt Russell as Santa Claus who takes on two kids from Lowell, Massachusetts (Kate and Teddy Pierce played by Darby Camp and Judah Lewis) who have discovered him in the act of delivering gifts. 

But we must back up a bit to understand how we got to two kids hiding in Santa’s sleigh. The Pierce kids have lost their firefighter father, which has been hard on both them and their mother. Their mother Claire (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) works as a nurse and is away from home a lot (and unfortunately she’s covering on Christmas Eve, leaving the kids to their own devices). Teddy has recently been hanging with the wrong crowd and doing illegal things. Kate is trying to keep the belief in Santa alive and save Teddy at the same time. So when Kate sees the flash of a figure in a video of a past Christmas when her father was alive, she tries to convince Teddy it’s Santa and that they must set up a trap to try to catch him in the act.

So that’s how we get to the point with the kids in the sleigh, which, once Santa learns this, becomes startled and crashes the sleigh, losing his magic hat and sack in the process.

Now that he’s lost his hat Santa can’t move as quickly as he normally does and if he doesn’t get back to delivering presents, the Christmas spirit will be lost. With the kids help, they set out to find his hat and sack.

Of course trouble ensues and Santa gets arrested and ends up performing a rousing rendition of “Santa Claus Is Back In Town” with Steve Van Zandt in the clink. The kids rescue the reindeer and Kate finds the sack and teleports to the North Pole and where the elves help her. One elf reaches Santa at the jail with a replacement hat so Santa is able to finally get a move on and finish his task. The sleigh is repaired, the hat and sack have returned to their rightful owner and the kids are still in tow. Plus it’s now the 11th hour. So Kate and Teddy help Santa finish the delivering and he returns them to their humble Lowell, MA abode.

The kids ask Santa if they’ll ever see him again and he tells them “not if he can help it”. He gives Teddy his hat, proving that Santa really didn’t need it after all.

Christmas morning the kids open their gifts. Kate gets the skateboard she has wanted and Teddy gets a magical ornament that shows his father’s reflection when he looks into it.

This film is very touching and well-done. It has become a yearly viewing staple for me. Unfortunately, “Christmas Chronicles 2” was not quite what I expected. Also, watch until the end for a surprise appearance.