Christmas Movie 5: “Miracle on 34th Street”

Christmas Movie 5: “Miracle on 34th Street”

by MichelleMcHatton

Don’t you just hate it when people won’t believe who you are when you tell them? Well, that’s kind of how it is for Kris Kringle in this 1947 Academy Award winning film starring Maureen O’Hara, John Payne, Natalie Wood and Edmund Gwenn. Many versions of this film have been created but, in my opinion, this one is the best.

Kringle (Gwenn) just happens to show up for New York’s Macy’s Thanksgiving parade. Just in time too because Doris Walker (O’Hara) is beside herself at having an intoxicated Santa in the parade. So naturally she sees this Santa-looking type just standing around and asks if he can fill in. And of course he does. The magic ensues from there.

Kris becomes Macy’s department store Santa for the season and in turn tells shoppers where to go to find toys that Macy’s doesn’t have in stock. This novel idea makes one woman tell the head of the toy department, Mr. Shellhammer, that she will now be a loyal Macy’s customer. Kris is a hit.

But when Doris’s neighbor, Fred Gailey (Payne), an attorney, takes her daughter Susan (Wood) to see Santa, Doris has second thoughts about hiring Kris to be Santa. Because she has always told Susan that Santa is not real and Susan has grown up not believing in fairy tales. And after Susan witnesses Kris speak Dutch to a little girl, she is probably feeling confused. After Doris asks Kris to tell Susan that he is not the real Santa Claus and he refuses, Doris considers firing him.

But because of his ongoing popularity and the attention Macy’s is getting because of him, Mr. Macy orders Kris to stay and have a psychological evaluation instead with Granville Sawyer. In which Kris insists he is Santa Claus. Which pisses Sawyer off. And Sawyer dismisses him. Which pisses Kris off and he hits Sawyer in the head with an umbrella, prompting him to be committed to Bellevue Hospital.

Fred rescues him from there and he takes Kris under his wing and has him live with him until they can go to court over this am-I-or-am-I-not-the-real-Santa-Claus bullshit.

While living with Fred, Kris visits Susan often and they play games and have many conversations. One such conversation leads to Susan showing Kris a picture of a dream house that she would like. A real house. Kris seems a bit taken aback but he does tell Susan he’ll see what he can do.

It’s finally Kris Kringle’s day in court. Fred calls Macy of all people to the stand and manages to get him to admit that he believes in Santa. Even the D.A.’s young son takes the stand and points out the real Santa in the courtroom. News of Santa being on trial has rocked New York. Someone at the post office gets the brilliant idea of sending all the dead letters they have addressed to Santa down to the courthouse. Which saves the day for Kris. Because, after all, what is more evidence that there is a real Santa other than tons of letters addressed to him?

In the end Susan in essence does receive her dream house, as she spots the very house from the picture with a “for sale” sign on her way home from the Macy’s Christmas party.

This one is meant to have in your Christmas movie library. It should be watched and enjoyed every year. The Library of Congress and the Academy Film Archive would agree, as it is in the National Film Registry as of 2005 and has been preserved as of 2009.

Christmas Movie 6: “Home Alone”

Christmas Movie 6: “Home Alone”

by MichelleMcHatton

Two significant things have happened regarding the movie “Home Alone” in 2023. First, the star of the film, Macaulay Culkin, received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Secondly, the film has been selected for preservation in the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress. Not bad for a movie that almost was never made.

If you’ve never seen the movie, it’s a 1990 John Hughes comedy (so you know it takes place in Illinois, which it does) and is directed by Chris Columbus. It stars the aforementioned Culkin as Kevin McCallister, an 8-year-old who gets left behind at home when his family leaves for holiday in Paris. Also starring are Catherine O’Hara and John Heard, as parents Kate and Peter and Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern as Harry and Marv, a/k/a The Wet Bandits.

In the first scene we note a police officer in the foyer of the McCallister house and I’ve always wondered who let him in. It turns out to be Harry in disguise, trying to fish information out of anyone about what the family is doing over the holidays. Once he learns from Peter that they’re leaving for Paris, he’s gleefully satisfied. For obvious reasons.

Following a ruckus over pizza the night before the big trip, Kevin is sent to sleep in the attic where he ends up getting forgotten during the chaotic rush by the family to get out of the house the following morning to get to the airport for their flight to Paris. The power went out the night before so everything’s fucked up and they’ve all overslept. Of course they’re going to forget the kid in the attic, right? Right.

So Kevin is left to fend for himself at home. Good thing he’s a mature and clever 8-year-old because I know most kids that age would’ve had the house burned down before the folks land in France. Also, good thing he’s mature and clever because he’s got two neighborhood crooks to worry about.

Meanwhile, the family hasn’t even landed yet and suddenly it dawns on Mom that, shit, we left Kevin at home! Once they land they frantically call neighbors and the police and it’s just hitting me right now. Why the hell didn’t they try to call Kevin directly? Because I don’t remember them doing that. Did they think he wouldn’t answer the phone? Although the power guy did tell them that the phone lines were down before they left and it would take a while to get them back up. However, that doesn’t explain them being able to call their neighbors. And this was well before cell phones. Oh well, it’s not important.

So Harry and Marv are having a field day in the neighborhood, hitting all the empty houses. But they really want the McCallister house. And they soon discover that not everyone is gone from that house. Because Kevin’s having a party with Michael Jordan and Brenda Lee.

Kevin goes on a shopping trip into town, gets frightened by his neighbor “Old Man” Marley and accidently steals a toothbrush. Upon returning home, he runs into Harry and Marv and becomes suspicious. He learns of their plan to attack his home and Kevin puts his own plan into place to protect it.

The night of the big attack, Kevin goes to church where he runs into Marley who is there to see his granddaughter sing in the choir. Because he can’t see her any other time of the year due to a falling out with his son. The two talk and become friends. Good thing because Marley is going to be a big part in saving Kevin.

But first Kevin has to take on the bad guys. And he does. With paint cans, transformers, feathers, a blowtorch, and even a tarantula. He escapes them, only to be caught by them at a neighbor’s house. Just when you think it’s the end for him, Marley comes in and saves the day.

Back in Paris Kate has managed to get a flight back to America, albeit not Illinois. No, she’ll have to hook up with Gus Polinski, “Polka King of the Midwest” (John Candy) and his Kenosha Kickers, who will manage to get her from Scranton to Illinois and home to Kevin. And of course, just as she gets home, here comes the rest of the family. And I have to add a note about Candy’s part here because he’s always been one of my favorite actors: Candy was only available for one day of filming, which took 23 hours to do. As he was doing it as a favor to Hughes, he was only paid $414. In return he was allowed to improvise all his lines.

If you are one of the very few who have yet to ever see this movie, make it a point to do so some time in your life. Between the story and the music by John Williams, it will certainly put you in the spirit of Christmas.

NOTE: “Home Alone 2: Lost In New York” I feel is just as good and is also worthy of a watch.

Christmas Movie 7: “A Muppet Family Christmas”

Christmas Movie 7: “A Muppet Family Christmas”

by MichelleMcHatton

What do you get when you gather Kermit and Company from “The Muppet Show” with almost every imaginable Muppet from “Sesame Street”, toss in a brief visit from The Fraggles and a human named Doc (Gerard Parkes)? You get the zany and entertaining “A Muppet Family Christmas”.

The plot revolves around Fozzie Bear driving out to the country with his Muppet friends (Kermit, Gonzo, the Electric Mayhem, etc.) to his mother’s house (Ma Bear voiced by Jerry Nelson) to surprise her for Christmas. Meanwhile, Ma Bear has already rented out her house for Christmas to Doc (Parkes) and his dog Sprocket (Steve Whitmire) so she can go to Malibu for the holidays. Change of plans, Ma.

So The Muppets are arriving at Ma Bear’s house and slipping one by one on the icy patch…which becomes a running gag throughout the film.

Then the gang from “Sesame Street” arrive and you really start to wonder where the hell is Ma Bear going to put all these Muppets?

And Doc is getting frustrated because he just wanted to spend a nice quiet Christmas alone with his dog. But everyone settles in and deals with it because, after all, it is Christmas.

The biggest problem seems to be that Miss Piggy is delayed in arriving because of a snowstorm, causing Kermit to worry.

Meanwhile Swedish Chef is trying to convince a turkey that he’s a turkey and will be dinner for everyone. The turkey isn’t having it and reveals the ultimate turkey to Swedish Chef: Big Bird. But in his true innocent way, Big Bird talks to Chef and gives him some birdseed. So, not sure, but maybe that’s what was served for dinner? Who knows!

Somewhere between the Swedish Chef trying to cook Big Bird and Kermit worrying about Miss Piggy, Robin discovers a Fraggle hole and lo and behold, we meet Gobo, Boober, Wembley, Red and Mokey Fraggle, hear them sing “Pass It On” and they present Robin with a nice, yellow pebble that has been passed on among them for years.

With Doc worrying about Kermit worrying about Piggy, he goes out to search for her and miraculously returns safely with her to the farmhouse where all is finally just perfect.

The film ends with a Muppet family singalong and a special final scene of Jim Henson himself in the kitchen washing dishes with Sprocket.

It really is a sweet film that’s been around since 1987 and not too well known about except mainly among Muppet fans. Definitely worth a watch.

Christmas Movie 8: “The Muppet Christmas Carol”

Christmas Movie 8: “The Muppet Christmas Carol”

by MichelleMcHatton

You know it’s always going to be a good time when you have humans and Muppets acting together. And a good time is what you get in this 1992 version of Charles Dickens’ classic “A Christmas Carol”. This is the third version mentioned here on the Christmas movie rundown on this blog and in my opinion, the best version. And, of course, the only version involving Muppets.

This film would be Brian Henson’s directorial debut, released two years following his father’s death and eleven months following the death of Muppet performer Richard Hunt. The film is dedicated, rightfully so, to both of them.

The film opens up the same way any movie about Scrooge begins: with a blue, furry whatever (Gonzo–voiced by Dave Goelz) and a rat (Rizzo-voiced by Steve Whitmire) depicting Charles Dickens (Gonzo) and sidekick (other than Rizzo being a rat, he doesn’t actually seem to have a name in this flick other than co-narrator. But he does make us aware that he is there for the food).

The Jim Henson Company somehow managed to wrangle Sir Michael Caine into playing Ebenezer Scrooge for this film. Then again, what classic actor wouldn’t want to perform with The Muppets? Many have.

Of course you know the tale by now of how Scrooge is visited by three ghosts (not including Marley & Marley (Waldorf & Statler– Dave Goelz and Jerry Nelson). And how he has a clerk named Bob Cratchit (Kermit the Frog–Whitmire) and assistant “meeces” (really just a slew of rats trying to stay warm) that Scrooge treats like dirt. Cratchit has a family including Emily (Miss Piggy–Frank Oz), daughters Belinda and Betina (Whitmire and Goelz), and sons Peter and Tiny Tim (David Rudman and Jerry Nelson).

Along the way the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future and all the Muppets sing us through meeting Fozziwig (Fozzie Bear-Frank Oz), naturally the Cratchits and Mrs. Dilber (voiced by Louise Gold)

This film is a great family film and one that should be seen every year. There are so many humorous and memorable moments and Gonzo and Rizzo are the perfect hosts.

Christmas Movie 9: “A Christmas Story”

Christmas Movie 9: “A Christmas Story”

by MichelleMcHatton

Most of us can relate to Ralphie Parker, the main character in “A Christmas Story”. We’ve been the kid coveting a certain something for Christmas: a special doll, a new bike, a certain something for our collection, a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. So we can shoot our goddamn eyes out.

Forty years later and a well-received revisit in 2022, “A Christmas Story” is alive and well and watched by millions leading up to Christmas and of course for 24 hours on Christmas Eve. “A Christmas Story” is so big that in 2012 it was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress. That’s one helluva award.

If you don’t know by now the story revolves around Ralphie (Peter Billingsley), a 9-year-old boy living in 1940’s Hohman, Indiana, whose only wish for Christmas is to receive the aforementioned Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle. Which his mother (Melinda Dillon), teacher (Tedde Moore) and even Santa Claus is afraid he’ll use to shoot his eye out. Interestingly enough his father The Old Man (Darren McGavin) never mentions his worry about this. Probably because he was too preoccupied with his fra-gee-lay Italian Major Award.

There are so many memorable moments throughout the film, from Flick getting his tongue stuck to the flagpole to Ralphie beating the shit out of Scut Farkus. Fudge, anyone? I always thought Randy got the shit end of the stick. After all, he was stuffed into his winter coat by his mother until he looked like a tick about to pop, forced to eat like a pig and hid under the kitchen sink. It’s amazing he turned out to be a rich bastard as portrayed in the 2022 revisit.

And let’s not forget the Bumpus’s hounds and The Old Man and his turkey…

“A Christmas Story” truly brings back memories of Christmases past and how it used to be for so many. Such simpler times of listening to Little Orphan Annie, drinking Ovaltine and having your biggest worry be whether you’ll get your Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle and not shoot your eye out.